


You can touch me

by lw531



Series: Venji vampire hunters [2]
Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Domestic venji, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Halloween prompt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Vampire Hunters, alternative universe, animal hunters, runaways - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27034003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lw531/pseuds/lw531
Summary: A sequel to let me kiss you was requested so here it is :)
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell & Victor Salazar, Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Victor Salazar & Simon Spier
Series: Venji vampire hunters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977541
Comments: 22
Kudos: 28
Collections: Venji Fic Fests: Halloween 2020





	1. Waking up from a nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to let me kiss you was requested so here it is :)

“Victor!”

On hearing his name, Victor sits to find Benji in a cold sweat next to him, clutching their blanket. “I’m here,” he says, smoothing his hand against Benji’s t-shirted back. “I’m right here.”

Benji turns to set his eyes on him and Victor offers him a smile. 

“Another nightmare?”

“In this one,” Benji says, “you became a werewolf--

Victor can’t help but chuckle,”Twentieth generation vampire hunters can turn into anything--vampires or werewolves.”

Benji chuckles as he leans against the headboard, “I’m still getting used to all this.”

“Yeah,” Victor says padding his hand in the dark, searching for his t-shirt, “I’ll go run the perimeter just in case.”   
“Thanks,” Benji says, “after all these years, I still get--

“I know,” Victor says kissing his forehead, “me, too.”

Victor lifts the blanket off his lap, slides his shoes in the boot shells he turned into ‘slippers,’ to scope out the cabin they’ve been squatting for the past year. 

He takes in the darkness around them. Star- and moonlight streaming into their room from the gaps in the fir trees outside their window. Miles from the closest city limits, they’ve somehow found a way to remain in the Southeastern United States despite being on the run. 

The cabin was a series of four rooms. Benji said something about the living and dining room and kitchen being what twenty-first century designers called open concept. To Victor, there were two bedrooms and no walls between the living room, dining room and kitchen. It made running the perimeter easy. He liked the cabin, which, from the research he had done on it, was in the middle of an inheritance feud where lawyers were still finding illegitimate children. It went from two to ten children fighting over it. He was tempted to rent it and pay cash to keep the lawyers from displacing them. But, despite how cozy he and Benji had found this place, he couldn’t leave a paper trail. It wouldn’t be safe for either of them. 

“Coast is clear,” Victor says, climbing back into bed. 

“It’s just,” Benji begins to explain, “I would have been a vampire for two years today if--

“Oh,” Victor says putting an arm around him, “I didn’t realize--

“I didn’t tell you,” Benji says, picking at his cuticles, “a nightmare about turning woke me up and, in the time you were scoping the house, I--I remembered…”

Victor leans his head onto Benji’s. Squeezing his shoulder, he says, “you’re the only one who’s shared that experience, what recovering looks like for you. The others never lived in the same town or scattered because they had to live their clan behind--

“I was never really in a clan,” Benji says with a shrug, “and, to be honest, I feel like I only dated Derek to be part of  _ something _ .” Benji turns his head to the moonlight coming into the room and says, “I didn’t wanna die but I hated being a vampire…”

“We--I mean vampire hunters, we know that some seek out immortality and some were forced into it...and of those not everyone feels the same about becoming a vampire after they’ve turned. Some, like you, regret it and others...others just get used to it. And we never know until--well, we never know….”

“I’m just glad to be out of Atlanta,” Benji admits lying down, “I mean...after our performance that night, I didn’t--I mean, I’m a bad liar. As good as I am about keeping secrets, if one more vampire asked me what happened--

“I know,” Victor says, turning to face Benji. He couldn’t help but be a little dazzled by the way moonlight danced against his skin. Unlike the first time they crossed paths, Benji’s cheeks had a little pink to them, his nostrils expanded a little each time they took in a breath and his lips...his lips remained as tempting as they were when Benji was a vampire. More tempting now that he wasn’t. And that was thanks to him. He’d do it again, if he’s honest, no matter how little they talked about what it felt to have their mouths on each other. 

“You got quiet there all of a sudden,” Benji says laying his hand on his back, “where’d your mind go?”

“Just thinking,” Victor says sliding down under the covers, “i know you didn’t wanna be a vampire but having to run away from everything you knew--

“I mean i feel bad for my mom because I know she worries, but,” he says taking in a deep breath, “I couldn’t like there anymore, with my mom a tennis ball between us. It wasn’t fari to her, how awkward it was after…”

“Hmm,” Victor says, “after you came out?”

“Yeah,” Victor says, “I can’t imagine because I haven’t told my parents yet--there’s so much I  _ couldn’t  _ tell them…

“How come?” Benji asks turning towards him. 

Victor can’t help but turn to face Benji as well, “Leaving Graham wasn’t easy. my parents don’t tell people what I can do because...because they were afraid the clans would never let me live for anything other than turning vampires mortal and...they wanted more for my life. I wanted more for my life…I love where I come from and why we do what we do--but I wanted to--I need to find another way to do it.”

“What do you mean?” Benji asks, pulling the blanket up over his shoulder. 

Victor does the same, accidentally bumping knees with Benji, “Sorry,” he whispers inching away from his roommate, “it’s too bad there weren’t two blankets--I’d have taken the couch. 

“It’s okay,” Benji says looking down, “I woke you up because of a nightmare,” biting his plump lips he then adds, “I’m sorry about that.”

“We’ve been through a lot these past few months,” Victor says, working very hard not to brush up against Benji’s legs again, “we still haven’t figured out what we’re gonna do…”

“Maybe sleeping on it will help,” Benji says, “gotta find a way to eat now that our money’s run out, right?”

Victor takes a deep breath, “Yeah, I guess that’d be a good place to start.” 

He closes his eyes, and waits until Benji’s breath evens out before he allows himself to think of falling asleep. 


	2. Teach me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...You’ve been so good to me and I don’t--I wanna make sure you have the life you want...you were forced into being a vampire and I wish--I wish we had better ways to make sure people like you could have the lives you always wanted.”  
> “I’m not useless, Victor,” Benji says, crossing his arms, “I’m not just some twink you saved or--  
> “What’s a twink?” Victor asked, brows crossing. 
> 
> >>>  
> Picking up the morning after Benji's nightmare, from Benji's POV. what IS going on with these boys?

Benji wakes up to find Victor turned away from him. He can’t say he’s not disappointed. His crush on Victor grows stronger every day. Being afraid of being attacked wasn’t the only reason he’d told Victor about the vampires’ questions. He wants Victor to know he wants to be close to him. That he’s more than a defenseless mortal recovering from vampirism. They’re still not sure if he can turn back into a vampire if he’s bitten again. Victor hasn’t followed up on any of the ones he’s cured to confirm that they could or couldn’t. He told him he was going to go on the run because he didn’t want to risk it. Victor asked him if he could join him because leadership in Atlanta was starting to ask about what happened. 

He opens the fridge, pulls out the eggs, milk, and bread they picked up at the food pantry the other day. Well, he went in for it because Victor had gone earlier that month. Easiest way to get food, next to waiting outside of cafes and bakeries who throw away what they can’t eat. Victor’s really good at picking those locks. Starbucks has too many cameras to even try getting those goods. 

He pulls out spices, a mixing bowl and a frying pan. He wants to make Victor French toast, the least he could do for waking him up because of his nightmare. Derek was chasing him down an alley, with others from his colony of vampires waiting at the other end. He started calling out for Victor right as they were closing in on him. 

Cooking set him at ease, something about following directions and watching food grow in color gave him a sense of purpose and relief. “Good morning,” he hears Victor say as sun starts flooding the kitchen, “what’re you makin?”

“I was in the mood for French toast,” Benji says unable to not raise a corner of his mouth in a smile, “I hope you want some--

“I love French toast,” Victor says turning to face Benji as he leans on the counter next to the stove, “and it looks great.” 

“Thanks,” Benj says looking up at him. The way Victor’s eyes were scanning his face, he wondered if he wanted to kiss him… _ again... _ if he was going to. “How many slices?”

“Four,” Victor says, launching himself off the counter, “I’ll go set the table.”

“Thanks,” Benji says, unable to hold his sigh. He’s loved their time together--the times they weren’t on the run or Victor wasn’t killing vampires. He meant to find a house with two fully stocked bedrooms, really he did. He was surprised that the second bedroom just had boxes, not furniture. 

Victor was wary of buying a blanket because of cameras. He had told his parents he would leave until the weight of his decisions blew over. He told Benji he didn’t want to lead them to be uprooted because of his impulsive decision. Leaving Graham was bad enough as it was--and even though that wasn’t his fault, he didn’t want to keep straining his family. From what he’s learned in their months trying to figure out their lives, Victor’s spent most of it taking care of others. Not just because he’s the oldest. “Here you go,” Benji says, laying four slices on his plate. 

“Thanks, B,” Victor says, lifting his head to meet his eyes. 

The way Victor looks at him messes with his insides. He smiles to himself as he sits down on his plate, grateful to feel his heart beat faster and his skin grow warmer. Even though he wasn’t a vampire that long, he relishes in being able to feel and emit excitement. One of his favorite feelings about being human. 

“This tastes amazing,” Victor says, “thanks so much!”

“Yeah, no, of course, Victor,” he says, heart growing at the compliment, “it’s nice to have a fully stocked kitchen and--

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Victor says, wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin, “and I haven’t broached it because, you know, I just wanted to make sure we had a rhythm and that squatting here was safe but...but I have an idea.”

“Idea?”

“I didn’t leave home empty-handed, I mean, aside from money,” Victor explains. “I dont want us trapped and,” Victor clears his throat and gets his worried scrunched face one, “and I wanna make sure you can either go back home or--

“I can’t go back home,” Benji says, “I can’t lie about what happened to Derek--

“I know,” Victor says, “I mean it’s not like they didn’t try to give him a chance but his body count--

Benji swallows. Derek loved being a vampire. He loved the freedom and not regretign it cost him his life. It wasn’t easy news to hear; he  _ did  _ care about him.

“My dad recommended I start looting colonies in central Georgia,” Victor explained, “I didn’t wanna do it because you’ve been through so much already--had to do so much and…

“Looting?”

“Yeah,” Victor says, “my dad’s not too happy about what’s been happening here, that we were able to--that he and Pilar needed to do so much so quickly...and then what my mom was learning about--I mean Simon and I were talking about the need for change, not just for gay hunters in the region but--

“Simon?”

“Miss Albright suggested I reach out to him and he was helpful until I had to disable my social media and...

Benji’s ears turn off. Heat rushes to his face. He hadn’t heard the name Simon before. The few questions Benji’s asked about being a vampire hunter, training since Victor could read, hunting by the time tweens were worrying about puberty, but he hasn’t talked about other gay vampire hunters. As much as his ears don’t receive what Victor’s saying, Victor’s face tell him it’s important so he asks, “So what about Simon?”

“He and his boyfriend are wanting changes in how we think about and  _ develop  _ the next generation of vampire hunters, but...but I wanna find a way to use my power for good without being a lab rat and, and I need to do research and for research I need cash and I can’t necessarily get a traditional job unless either of us wanna be found and--

“So you wanna go looting?”

“Yeah,” Victor says offering a painful smile, “I mean I know how to get in and out of things undetected and I wanna make sure you’re safe…

“I can handle myself,” Benji says leaning back in his chair, looking at his partially full plate. He hates that Victor thinks he’s weak. He used to think that Victor worried because Victor cared but there’s so much Victor’s keeping from him, and you don’t do that with someone you ran away with, not unless...not unless you don’t care. “You don’t need to worry about me--

“I can’t help it,” Victor mutters, looking down at his plate, “you lost your boyfriend because of me and...and maybe you attacked me because you were hurt and--

“It’s not because I was hurt, Victor,” Benji grumbles getting up from his chair, “if you need to go solve this problem, then go. Nothing’s keeping you here, I mean, you’ve done enough for me and not everyone knows I was--that I used to be a--

“Vampire hunters will wanna know why your memory wasn’t wiped, you know too much about us… about this world, and I didn’t--I should have--

“You should have what?” Benji asks, as he throws his pan into the sink, “you should have what?!” 

Victor takes a deep breath and says, “I didn’t mean to offend you, Benji, not sure what I said...I just...I wasn’t trained for  _ this... _ I dreamed of leaving vampire hunting behind but I never...I don’t know how to do this and make sure you don’t become another bystander. You’ve been so good to me and I don’t--I wanna make sure you have the life you want...you were forced into being a vampire and I wish--I wish we had better ways to make sure people like you could have the lives you always wanted.”

“I’m not useless, Victor,” Benji says, crossing his arms, “I’m not just some twink you saved or--

“What’s a twink?” Victor asked, brows crossing. 

“A small, femme appearing gay boy,” Benji says turning to the sink and begin washing dishes.

“Femme?”

“More ‘feminine,’” Benji answers as he begins washing the dishes, “you know you’re gay but you don’t know the--

“I knew enough about the mortal world to function like a straight guy and I never really had anyone to talk about it before, and I didn’t want to learn more to know what I thought I wouldn’t--couldn’t have,” Victor answers as he sets the plate on the counter.

“Couldn’t have?” Benji asks, turning his face to him. 

“Vampire hunters only have sex to, you know,” Victor says, “have babies. Rare are the pair of hunters who love each other out of choice like my parents--most who do “couple” have two kids after making sure they can...Adrian was more unplanned than we were. A testament to how much my parents love and chose each other for more than raising more vampire hunters...more conservative and less romantic than some churches…” Victor says looking down at his feet. 

“Oh,” Benji says, “I didn’t know...I mean we never really--

“I’m not good at talking to people,” Victor says, “I can blend in because I’m a good listener, but you’re the mortal I’ve talked to the most...I was raised in love, but mostly to train. We don’t usually get close to mortals...it’s just not done--and when we leave our clans, like Mia’s mom did--the line’s discontinued and children’s memories are wiped and--

“That’s a lot, Victor,” Benji says, he makes like he’s going to touch Victor’s arm but stops himself. “You never said--

Benji watches as Victor walks back to the table, picking up their cups, the cloth napkins they used and shrugs, “you know more than any other mortal’s allowed to know--

“So teach me more,” Benji says drying his hands on his pants, “I don’t believe you weren’t taught to work in teams so--

“I don’t wanna put you in any danger, there was too much at stake to have your memory wipes right after and I didn’t know how to after--

“Look,” Benji says, leaning his hip against the edge of the sink, “if you teach me what you can, I can figure out how to help, right?”

“Benji,” Victor begins, “I started learning how to listen for what goes bump as I was learning how to read--

“I know what can go bump in the night,” Benji interrupts him, “Lemme help you make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to anybody else, it sounds like there’s more you’re not telling me and given what you gave back to me, it’s the least I could do…”

Victor sets his hand on the back of one of the dining chairs, takes a deep breath and says, “You’re not gonna give up, are you?”

“Nope,” Benji says shaking his head, trying to not smile in victory. 

“Fine,” Victor says, rocking the chair under his grip, “then we’re gonna start with running. Put some real shoes on and I’ll meet you outside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betas...oh betas...it's no longer summer, alas being beta less.   
> Comments and kudos, as always are appreciated. Now off to research for chapter 3


	3. the chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “At least you let me make breakfast sometimes,” Benji says, leaning forward, “Can I see what there’s to cook for dinner?”
> 
> Victor nods, “thanks, that’d be great--I was going to walk around and see if I can gather some firewood…”
> 
> “I’ll be here,” Benji says getting up, “getting used to living without cell phones has been…
> 
> “Were you really used to them?” Victor asks following him, “I mean I--
> 
> “I was trying to be funny,” Benji says, resting his hand on Victor’s, “lighten up.”
> 
> Victor feels his face grow warm and he doesn’t know how to move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys and That0neGaySlytherin's advice on suspense has been helpful

“Running,” Victor says when Benji steps outside, “is your most important asset. Before we practice listening, it’s important to test your endurance and your speed, so we know what we’re working with.”

“Okay,” Benji says as the screen door closes behind him, “are we racing or--

“Your goal is to make sure I don’t catch you,” Victor says standing up, “I’ll count to ten to give you a head start.”

“Funny--

“One, two…” Victor begins with a smirk watching Benji run off the porch and into the woods. It’s not really fair, Victor’s been taught how to listen for the snaps of branches to let you know if age, to pay attention to echoes and hone in how the way one carries themselves will inform how they run. Seriously, they were trained to run after vampires, mortals are easy. 

Victor catches him within minutes, the way Benji heaves for losing his breath giving him away. “You’re fast,” Benji says once he recovers enough breath to speak. 

“I ran every night in Graham,” Victor says, “in woods like this...middle of nowhere Texas.”

“That’s a lot of running--

“Over hills, fallen logs, across creeks,” Victor explains, “one of the reasons I’m glad you found this place.” He looks up, takes in the whiff of humid air, damp wood, and life abuzz. He gets lost in it until he feels Benji’s eyes burn through him. It’s intoxicating and nerve racking, he’s got to focus. “Again,” he says lowering his gaze to the beautiful boy whose sweat his collecting on his brow. “I’ll give you a count to twenty--

“Twenty?” Benji asks giving him a sexy half smile.

“You need more time,” Victor explains running his fingers through his hair,”I figure we can do this every morning until I don’t catch you in sixty seconds--

“Ouch,” Benji says, flipping his hair back, “you’re on.”

Benji dashes off again, and Victor starts the count. He lets it go to thirty, wanting to give the mortal more of a head start because he doesn’t want to deflate his ego too much. 

By noon, with the sun beaming over their heads, Benji asks for a break. “I’ve never run this much before,” he admits as they make their way back to the cabin. “I hope I’m not sore in the morning--

“We’re definitely going to stretch after lunch--

“Not if I don’t fall asleep first,” Benji says with a chuckle. “That was exhausting.”

“Well,” Victor says, “do some light stretching and make sure to eat at least 2 bananas so you don’t get a charlie horse...and lots of water. THat’s the one thing I forgot to make sure we drank a lot of before we started, sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Benji says offering Victor a smile and shrug that awakens the butterflies in Victor’s stomach, “This morning was pretty intense. I guess I’m still pissed about the whole vampire thing and having to leave home...” 

“Well, yeah,” Victor says, “remembering the night you turned and...I guess I haven’t done a good job of asking you more about your experience as a vampire...

“I don’t really like talking about it, Benji says as he follows Victor into the house. “I’m just trying to relish in having a heart beat and a warm body temperature again…”

“Hmm,” Victor says, “I can’t even imagine…”

“It’s one of the best feelings ever,” Benji says sitting at the dining table, “I kinda wanna forget what life was like without it.” 

Victor makes sure they stretch and hydrate before Benji takes a nap. They focus on leg stretches, and Benji throws in a few down- and upward dogs because of the heights they’d run that morning. Victor stretches with his eyes closed, knowing that if he starts too long at the way Benji can bend himself, he’d give himself away too quickly. The afternoon sun was seeping in through every window and its warmth enveloped Victor, bringing him back to his alternating summers in Puerto Rico and Colombia, where his grandparents were born and raised. They had been recruited to Graham given the grittiness of their work in their home countries and the need for new leadership. 

His parents insisted he and Pilar train with their grandparents given their concerns with corruption. Learning to run and hunt amid tropical storms and intense humidity had made them the envy of other hunters. It also set them up to be better prepared given Roger’s growing leniency. After today, he’d have to create a  _ real  _ plan for Benji, to prepare him as well as he could.

“I think that’s good,” Benji says as they finalize into resting pose, their hands brushing, “I’m getting sleepy.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” Victor says getting up, “I’ll clean up lunch and put up the breakfast dishes.”

“Oh,” Benji says, “okay. Thanks.”

By the time Victor makes his way to the sink, Benji’s pulling off his shirt and walking into the bedroom. He puts the breakfast dishes up in the cabinets, the frying pan in the broiler, begins to soak the pots they used to make lunch. On walking into the bedroom, he finds Benji nestled in the bed, sunlight overflowing the room. Benji’s pink cheeks are too kissable, he thinks to himself. With their long morning, Benji’s gotta be exhausted so Victor closes the shades and the curtains, then the door. On returning to the kitchen, he scrubs their lunches dishes clean and sets them on the drying rack. He sweeps the dining area, then the living area. 

Cleaning helps him put his mind at ease. With his parents, brother, and sister, he too was the fixer. Having something to put in order after a busy morning sets his mind at ease. He misses the mundanity of school, despite the number of books the last owners had left in the house. He finds an empty notebook amid the books on the built in bookshelves, grabs a pencil he found on one of the end tables and starts outlining a detailed plan of how to train Benji. Given that most of his life was training if not trying to pass off as a normal teenager, it’s not that hard. They’ll need to do arms, if Benji has any energy tomorrow. If he doesn’t, they’ll focus on listening to sounds. 

“Hey,” Victor hears Benji say. On looking up, the sky has gone orange, the house has gotten a little darker with the sun setting outside. 

“Oh, hey,” Victor says setting his notes aside. 

“You looked like you were concentrating,” Benji says, 

“Trying to figure out how to train you and not overexert you,” Victor says rubbing his neck. 

“Hmm,” Benji says sitting next in the arm chair to Victor’s left, “you do like order, don’t you? Being the oldest and all…”

“Yeah,” Victor says, unable to not smile in response to Benji, “it’s hard to break out of the routine…”

“At least you let me make breakfast sometimes,” Benji says, leaning forward, “Can I see what there’s to cook for dinner?”

Victor nods, “thanks, that’d be great--I was going to walk around and see if I can gather some firewood…”

“I’ll be here,” Benji says getting up, “getting used to living without cell phones has been…

“Were you really used to them?” Victor asks following him, “I mean I--

“I was trying to be funny,” Benji says, resting his hand on Victor’s, “lighten up.”

Victor feels his face grow warm and he doesn’t know how to move. 

“Sorry,” Benji says pulling his hand back, “I didn’t mean--

“It’s okay,” Victor says, sticking his other hand in his pocket, “you--you can touch me, I know I’m not good with people but you were just expressing friendship, right?”

“Right” Benji says slowly, taking his hand back, “friends.”

Victor can pick up on the disappointment but he doesn’t know what to do or say because he is not sure what about his decision or his words or their touching was awkward. Nightmares are a given, for the reassurance, but when he’s touched after being so socially inept and a mortal gets weird about it, what is he supposed to do? 

The woods offer a refuge from his thoughts. He gathers branches broken off from trees, some of which he will need to dry, though not sure if he’ll make it or let them dry naturally. The sounds of night are inviting, though creatures who hide during the day are becoming less shy. He hears their steps, their attempts to hunt and does his best to not engage them. 

Human steps emerge, they’re running in the distance. The distance is a normative pace his ears tell him, and those steps remind him that he needs to start heading back. His bundle is getting heavy, rebellious teens are aching to jump in cold water. He wants to be warm. He wants to be close to Benji, even if they can only be friends. Even if he can only love him from afar. 

_ He loves Benji. Shit.  _

That moment distraction is just enough time for a mammal to scratch his back. His bundle drops. He chases the creature who, somehow, is headed towards the cabin. He reaches for the blade he keeps in his pants but the creature is faster than him. He cannot make out the size, the stinging on his back slowing him down and fear weakening his ears. 

As the cabin comes into view, glowing with light, his heart races and he throws his blade hoping his intuition and adrenaline gets the aim his eyes cannot. Then he hears a gunshot. After that, a whimper and a thud. 

Despite himself, his knees give out and his vision goes black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are great, comments are better, how was that cliffhanger, huh? Tell me, tell me please, your love is helping me move


	4. Nothing can hurt you here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Victor laying there, though, Benji has all the time to study him as he wishes. The sounds of an owl hooting echo in the distance. A rustling suggests the wind’s picked up speed. Benji lets these sounds become the soundtrack of taking the time to study the angle of Victor’s neck when his head is turned just so, the angles of his face where it curves from his neck. He takes in how soft yet sharp Victor’s angles are, thinking out loud, “You’re beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for visiting, I hope this satiates some of your curiosity

Benji’s grandfather taught him how to use a rifle. He took him hunting and, a few of those times, his grandfather had him practice shooting in the dark. The sound of Victor dropping to the ground after the animal, though, was unexpected. “Victor,” he hisses as he runs off the porch. He passes the animal’s dead carcass to check on his fallen...roommate. 

“Victor,” he says as he tries to shake him awake. 

He leans down to make sure he’s still breathing. Once he’s picked up on that, he throws Victor’s arm over his shoulders, lifts his legs, and carries him over the threshold. He makes it as far as the couch and lays him on the couch. “Shit,” he says to himself as he rushes to the bathroom for some towels and Victor’s first aid kit. 

Benji opens it to find traditional items such as hydrogen peroxide, bandages. He also finds stitching tape, needles. He grabs the tools he knows how to use--peroxide bandages, aspirin--and goes back to see Victor still on the couch, breathing. Kneeling by the couch, he turns Victor around to see how badly he was scratched. He recalls their conversation about major injury. “Don’t take me to the hospital,” Victor had said, “I don’t heal like other mortals and I’d be easy to track.”

“Dammit, Victor,” Benji says to himself as he completes the tears the animal had started. Victor’s back has deep gashes, “Fuck,” he mutters as he wipes the gashes clean to see if he’ll have to pick out fabric from the wounds. Once he wipes the blood clean, he sees that he will need to pick out loose threads from the scars. He goes back to the first aid kit to see if there are tweezers in there. Once he finds them, he starts picking at the threads he can see. Victor’s breathing and still throughout the process, and Benji doesn’t know where he’s getting the strength to navigate the beautiful boy’s back. “C’mon, Vic, talk to me please,” he says again, hoping that the thread removal doesn’t feel as painful as it is difficult to find them. 

Once he’s picked out as many of the threads he could find, he goes to the kitchen, grabs one of the larger metal mixing bowls, fills it with warm water, and goes back to clean Victor’s wounds. He’s too focused on cleaning the wounds, paying attention to Victor’s breathing to give himself time to be anything but concerned and focused. The gashes are across the length of his back, the animal’s claws were long and thick, but it didn’t look like they hit anything major. 

Once he’s disinfected Victor’s back and wiped Victor’s back again, he locks all the doors and windows, closes the curtains and blinds over them. He packs the dinner he’s cooked up and stores it in the fridge. Then, seeing that Victor has turned his head and made his pained face, Benji allows himself to take a deep breath of relief. 

With everything locked, Benji throws away the towels he used to clean up Victor and then goes to their room to see if he can find a clean t-shirt to give him. Once he does, he goes back to the first aid kit, looking for bandages to cover Victor’s wounds. 

Benji lays the bandages on carefully. He hopes he’s doing it right, because he’s never practiced. He’s banaged his own scraped knees and he remembers the labor of cleaning his stitches after his car accident but nothing, nothing like this. Even unconscious and clawed open, Victor looks strong, guarded. Benji smoothes Victor’s hair back and kisses his forehead, hoping his tenderness reminds him to live if not, at least, welcome. He then moves him to help him wear a shirt. 

Once he’s put Victor in the long-sleeved shirt he grabbed, he goes back to the bedroom for a blanket. He grabs the blanket they share from their bed, and drapes it over Victor. Benji knows he won’t be able to sleep until he sees Victor stir. So, once Victor’s draped with their blanket, he goes back to the room and grabs his sketchbook. 

Most of the time he’s invested in drawing has been when Victor’s sleeping or when Victor’s scoping the grounds perimeter in the middle of the day. Victor usually wakes up before he does and goes to sleep after he does which hasn’t given him much time to study Victor in stillness. Not that he really needs to. He studies him all the time. The way he smiles when he’s being shy; the way he smiles when he’s being confident. Benji swears he knows all his concentrated faces. Benji, if he’s honest with himself, doesn’t know what Victor’s confused faces mean. And Victor has just as many of those as he does his pensive, confident, and curious faces. 

With Victor laying there, though, Benji has all the time to study him as he wishes. The sounds of an owl hooting echo in the distance. A rustling suggests the wind’s picked up speed. Benji lets these sounds become the soundtrack of taking the time to study the angle of Victor’s neck when his head is turned just so, the angles of his face where it curves from his neck. He takes in how soft yet sharp Victor’s angles are, thinking out loud, “You’re beautiful.” 

Once he’s gotten an eyeful, he takes pencil to paper, beginning a concentrated study of his favorite features, letting pen and paper do what he wishes Victor wanted Benji’s hands to do: smooth warmth and tenderness over every inch of him, the possibility of love in every moment their skin touches. 

Despite himself, Benji awakens in his seat to the sounds of Victor whimpering. He opens his eyes to see Victor’s pained face, either caught in a nightmare or memory given the sound of his fearful whimpers. “Victor,” Benji whispers, “Victor, you’re okay.”

When Victor doesn’t respond, Benji squats in front of Victor’s face, smooths his hand across his warm cheek and says, “Victor, it’s me, Benji, we’re safe in the cabin. You’re okay. Nothing can hurt you here, I won’t let it, V…”

“Benji,” Victor calls out, “no, Benji--

“I’m okay, V,” Benji whispers still smoothing his hand against Victor’s cheek, “I’m okay.”

“Don’t...don’t hurt Benji, please,” Victor pleads his head shaking back and forth. 

Benji feels his forehead, his cheek and his neck, he definitely has a temperature. 

“Let me take you to bed, Victor,” Benji says trying to wake him up, “we gotta make sure you drink lots of water--

“I’ll do anything, but please, don’t hurt him,” Victor insists, tears streaming down his face. 

Benji leaves his side and fills a glass with water, “Victor, this is water, drink it please, drink it for Benji…”

Victor’s reluctant in his state, but Benji does his best to sound soothing and gentle, offering words of reassurance. “Benji’s okay, you’re okay, no one’s going to hurt either of us. So you can drink, please drink this water, Victor....”

Victor somehow manages to gulp water down in his crazed state, much to Benji’s relief. After he sets the glass down on the lamp table next to the couch arm above Victor’s head, Benji begins to plead, “Wake up for me, Victor,” smoothing his hand across the beautiful boy’s face, “please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Benji, taking care of a crazed beautiful boy is soooo much hard work.


	5. Amazing and adorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You should probably eat something,” Benji says, ticking the edge of Victor’s ear.   
> “I just wanna lay here for a minute,” Victor says, “if that’s okay.”  
> “Sure,” Benji says, voice raising a pitch, making to get up, “I’ll just--  
> “No,” Victor says, “stay. Having you close reminds me that you’re okay--that I’m--that we’re okay.”  
> “Of course, V,” Benji says, “anything you want.”
> 
> or 
> 
> Victor wakes up. He and Benji reflect on the recent events...and other stuff ;) ;)

His back hurts. He can’t help but shout, “Ah!” 

“Thank God,” he hears Benji say followed by rushed footsteps. Benji smooths his hand across Victor’s face, then lays the back of his hand against his forehead all the while his eyes dart across his face. “Your fever’s down, I was soo worried.”

“How long have I been--

“A couple of days,” Benji says, remaining close, his eyes still scanning Victor’s face. “Three and a half really…”

Victor scans the room, the aroma of garlic, potatoes in the air. Benji must have made lunch. “I’m sorry I scared you,” Victor says trying to get up, “did you get to--

“I skinned the animal, took the remains to the edge of the lake not too far from here--at least the house had a wheelbarrow--and always operated during sunlight hours.”

“Oh,” Victor says, “that must have been a lot--

“The carcass was gone by yesterday morning--so if we wanna go swimming in the lake, we’ll need to be careful--

“Careful?”

“Meat-eaters in the lake,” Benji says, “I didn’t make my way to the library to ask because, you know…”

“Oh,” Victor says attempting to put his feet on the ground.

“Let me see your back,” Benji says, “you were right about healing faster than the rest of us but--

“Sure,” Victor says attempting to pull off his shirt--

“I got it,” Benji says, setting his hands on Victor’s. 

Benji takes the edge of his shirt from him. Victor lifts his arms as best he can and Benji lifts his shirt up, standing to completely remove it. 

“I’m not used to being so helpless,” Victor says.

“Hmm,” Benji says, smoothing his hand against Victor’s back, “the bandages aren’t as damp as they would be--I’m going to position myself behind you if that’s okay,” Benji says meeting Victor’s eyes.

Victor nods and gulps. “I--I trust you.”

“Yeah,” Benji says, “a  _ lot  _ less bleeding.” 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Victor admits, “I was so worried when I heard the animal, I’m sorry I dropped the firewood--

“I picked it up the morning after,” Benji says running his fingers along where the claws must have dug into Victor’s skin, “it’s drying on the porch. I’m surprised I found tanning supplies here, too, though I shouldn’t be because I found the rifle--

“You learned how to shoot in the dark?”

“My grandfather--my mom’s dad--used to take me when I was younger. I stopped going after I came out, especially because I became a vampire shortly after--my mom was worried because of his views--

“Oh,” Victor says, trying to not wince at how sensitive his skin remained. 

“I appreciate the idea of hunting,” Benji admits, “if we eat animals, we should be able to kill them, right? I dunno that I’ll stay thinking that way, something about seeing how brutally we--and how much we--

“Yeah,” Victor says, “that whimper gets to me, too. I learned how to kill some with my bare hands…”

“Woah,” Benji says, his calloused fingers stilled against the edge of Victor’s wound treatments.

“Looking at them in their eyes,” Victor begins to explain, “I don’t like the sight of them losing life…”

“Me either,” Benji says, “it’s not--even in their moment of surrender--it’s really--

“I know,” Victor interjects, leaning into Benji’s touch, “I know.”

“You should probably eat something,” Benji says, ticking the edge of Victor’s ear. 

“I just wanna lay here for a minute,” Victor says, “if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Benji says, voice rising a pitch, making to get up, “I’ll just--

“No,” Victor says, “stay. Having you close reminds me that you’re okay--that I’m--that we’re okay.”

“Of course, V,” Benji says, “anything you want.”

When the pressure of contact is too close, Victor turns to face Benji, finding his eyes glistening, “Benji?”

“I was so scared, V,” Benji whispers. 

“B,” Victor says resting his hand on Benji’s heart, “I’m so, so sorry…”

“No,” Benji says, “that’s not what I meant, I…”

Benji’s voice trails as he kisses Victor’s forehead in a way that warms Victor’s insides. The tenderness is too much, he tucks his head in the nape of Benji’s neck, hiding his blush at the intimacy of that moment. Victor can feel Benji’s heart quicken under his hands, He knows that speed all too well, it’s the way his heart rate quickens whenever he gets within inches of Benji. “Me, too,” he mumbles into Benji’s warm nape, “me, too.”

  
  


Victor awakes to find Benji under him, the boy’s hands drawing circles on his back. He doesn’t want to move but he’s hungry. He’s really hungry. He lifts his head to find Benji’s soft smile, “Hungry?”

Victor nods, “as much as I don’t wanna move I--

“C’mon,” Benji says sitting up, “Let’s get you fed.”

“Okay,” Victor says sitting back on his legs. He gives Benji his hand, standing up and following him. As much as he can walk on his own, he doesn’t want to let go of Benji’s hand. He doesn’t want to stop touching him, being close to him. 

“You should probably stand a while,” Benji says, “let your back breathe.”

“Okay,” Victor says as he watches Benji fill a bowl up with mashed potatoes. 

“Do you know any other words, V?”

“Yeah,” Victor says, as he takes the bowl from Benji, “I just…”

“You just,” Benji asks, raising the corner of his lip, as his eyes roam up and down Victor.

“I should eat before I say something silly,” Victor says before stuffing his mouth. The potatoes are the perfect combination of creamy and solid. After he swallows a couple of spoonfuls, he says, “You’re amazing, Benji--

“Because I make good mashed potatoes?”

Victor reads playfulness in his roommates--boyfriend’s?--mutually-interested friend’s face and says, “Not just because of the potatoes,” Victor deadpans as he leans his hip against the counter. 

Benji serves himself while keeping his hungry eyes on Victor in a way that reminds Victor he’s shirtless. 

“I should go put a shirt on--

“Says who?” Benji asks, “you need to let your back breathe--

“Your hungry eyes are giving you away, Benji,” Victor says rolling his eyes. 

“Just because I’m not a vampire doesn’t mean I don’t find you delicious.” 

Victor blinks hard, looks down at his potatoes, and continues to eat in silence. He feels his cheeks warm. 

“You’re adorable when you’re blushing,” Benji says between bites, “absolutely adorable.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooooo, what did you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink?
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated. For those of you who read my other fics that I've not touched in a few months, I'll get back to them in November, I hope that's okay.


	6. Benji teaches Victor

Benji adores the fact that Victor’s a cuddler. When they go to bed together after days of them sitting on the chair and sleeping on the sofa, he doesn’t shy away when their knees knock and Benji wakes up with either Victor’s breath warm and content against his neck or with his arms around the boy. He nuzzles him then, and when Victor hums, pulling him closer, he wonders how silly they were to wait this long. 

They spend a week entangled in each other. A week of touching and flirting and obvious admissions of feelings without. Even. kissing. 

Benji, if he’s honest, is torn between the safety of their closeness as the long showers he finds himself taking, not knowing who’s going finally break the final wall. 

With Victor awake, moving around, collecting firewood, hand carving stakes, Benji finally has time to go to the library for books to read on local wildlife and plant life. He takes dubious notes because, well, they’ve gotta figure out what could attack them when they start hunting. They’ve also gotta figure out what, if any, plants they can eat. 

He gets to the library by bike. He promises, each morning when he leaves, that he’ll return when the sun is still high in the sky and leave for home faster if it starts to rain. After the fourth day, he tells Victor, “I think I’m going to need to start going out and sketching what’s out there, comparing it to the books I have.”

“That makes sense,” Victor says, “how can you do a critical comparison without bringing images of the plants themselves.”

“Exactly,” Benji says dropping his bag on the dining table, “so I’ll be here all day tomorrow.” 

“I’d like that,” Victor says pulling out the frozen fish, “maybe we could check out the lake and go fishing?”

“We low on meat?”

Victor nods. “And I’m getting a little cabin fever being cooped up in here…”

“I still can’t believe they left this house so fully stocked,” Benji says, “we were spoiled in this find.” 

“I don’t ask questions,” Victor says, “once I’m up to it, we’ll have to start scoping where to loot and--

“Honeymoon’s over?”

Victor looks up, face going red, “Sorry, as much as I love it just being the two of us--

“Mhm,” Benji says walking up to Victor, hoping he won’t back out of such a good setup.

“We need to--we need to find another way to survive and,” Victor swallows hard without moving, “and we’ll need to find a new place to--to--

“To?”

“To live,” Victor finishes, scanning Benji’s face. 

“I can hear your heart beating from here,” Benji teases, closing the distance between them, sliding his fingers through Victor’s.

“I’m nervous,” Victor says, bowing his head out of sustaining Benji’s gaze, “really nervous about…

“About what, V?”

“I know we’ve been dancing,” Victor begins, barely above a whisper, “and I love--I feel so--I’ve never…”

“You’ve never?” Benji asks slotting one of his legs between Victor.

“You know,” Victor says, looking up from under lidded eyes. 

“No,” Benji says pulling Victor’s arm around him, “you know you can tell me anything. You  _ did  _ save my life, you know?”

“You,” Victor begins, clearing his through, “you saved mine too--

“Your superhuman strength would have saved you just fine after--

“That’s not what I’m referring to, B,” Victor breathes out, smoothing a lock from Benji’s face. 

Benji leans into the touch, “Then tell me, V, you know there’s nothing I wouldn’t--

“I’ve never,” Victor begins, “I’ve never felt like this and I’ve never...I’ve never kiss-kissed anyone, that’s--that’s why I’m nervous…”

“Oh, Benji says lifting his head from Victor’s hand, “that’s okay--

“Holding you is so much easier,” Victor says wrapping his other arm around Benji’s waist, “this...this I know how to do--

“So, why don’t you let me teach you,” Benji says, setting his hand on Victor’s chest, “we can start slow...we don’t have to start with the biting--

“Funny,” Victor says catching the reference to Victor’s removing Benji’s vampirism. 

“So,” Benji says sliding his hand up and around the back of Victor’s neck, “I can teach you, if you want me to.”

“I do,” Victor breathes, “please.”

“You’ve gotta meet me halfway,” Benji says rubbing Victor in the tender spot behind his ear. 

“Okay,” Victor says lowering his face, “I can do that.”

“And you can part your lips a little,” Benji whispers as their faces inch closer. 

“Uh huh,” Victor says, leaving his mouth slightly open. 

“Then I can just,” Benji says before letting his lips land on Victor’s. 

As though by instinct, Victor tightens his hold on Benji, scrunching his shirt at his waist. Benji, in response, holds Victor in place, tightening his grip on his neck with one hand, and pulling at the shirt over his heart at the other. 

They part for breath, only for a second, before their lips find the other’s again, this time with tongue. 

Benji snakes his hand around Victor, hungry for more. He digs his fingers into Victor’s back until Victor winces and says, “still sensitive.”

“Sorry,” Benji says, blood rushing to his face, “seems like you’re a quick study--

“I was--I mean, I am?”

Benji nods as he plays with the edge of Victor’s shirt, “Yeah, i didn’t even talk about tongue--”

“Did I--was it--

“Perfect,” Benji says running his fingers through his hair. 

“Good,” Victor says leaning his forehead against Benji’s, “good.”

“At least I can teach you  _ some  _ things,” Benji jokes. 

“You’ve taught me so much already,” Victor whispers. 

“Hmm,” Benji says, “training’s gonna be really...difficult--

“Why?” Victor asks rubbing his nose against Benji’s. 

“Because how are we gonna keep our hands off each other after a kiss like that--

“It’s something we can both teach each other,” Victor says breaking from their tight embrace. 

“Hmm,” Benji says, running his eyes up and down Victor walking backward away from him. 

“It’ll be worth the wait,” Victor tells him offering him a sexy half smile. 

“I’m sure it will,” Benji says. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is there anything you don’t know how to do?” Benji says after Victor slides down the tree.  
> “If there is,” Victor says brushing himself off, “I’m sure you’ll teach me--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls let me know how I'm balancing the suspense, fluff and sexual tension. Please and thank you

While Benji draws, Victor scans the perimeter, climbing trees to scan a wider area, listening for human movement and car movement. “Is there anything you  _ don’t  _ know how to do?” Benji says after Victor slides down the tree.

“If there is,” Victor says brushing himself off, “I’m sure you’ll teach me--

“Wow,” Benji says, shaking his head, “you’re ridiculous…”

Victor pecks him on the forehead, “And adorable.”

Benji chuckles to himself, “Focus, Victor…”

“I thought I was focusing,” Victor says sitting down next to him. 

“On the perimeter, babe,” Benji says, shoulder nudging him.

“Fine,” Victor says. 

As Victor disappears in the brush, leaving Benji concentrating on the wild greens around him. It’s difficult to concentrate on how they’re on the run because they’d spent the afternoon kissing, talking and kissing and after so many months of dancing around each other, his heart was full. Still, his stinging back served as a reminder of the unknown threats around them. How much easier life would be if he wasn’t born into a life of chasing vampires. 

The only good thing that had come out of it--meeting Benji. 

As his thoughts ran with him, he could smell the distinct smell of mortal blood. As he walked further into the woods, the lake coming into view on his right, his back facing the house. There were no other houses for miles. The cabin at which they were staying was built on private property that blurred into preserve territory. The owners didn’t want a fence. There was an understanding, an understanding that only exists between the privileged and the state. Much like the agreements that lay between lenient vampire hunters and blood suppliers. “Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” He thinks out loud, and starts heading back to the cabin. 

He finds Benji sitting on the front porch, scanning his drawing. “Hey, babe,” Benji says looking up smiling. 

“We gotta go,” Victor says with a low rumble in his voice.

Benji gets to his feet as Victor walks into the house, Victor can hear that much. 

“What happened?”

“Vampires have been scouting the area; they’ve fed here,” he explains going into the bedroom and pulling out their bags. 

“How do you know?”

“Smell of blood, foot prints that don’t like ours, thinking through how you found this place, why it’s still up for debate--

“Did I--

“No,” Victor says, “this is  _ not  _ your fault. I just put two and two together, B,” he explains, softening his tone. It’s never easy to tell why inheritance struggles are difficult unless you start to think through the details. He explains as much to Benji, the parallels, the fallout, the potential connection to the animal attack from last month. “It’s hard to tell the difference between a self-interested family, and a blood supplier one. I didn’t see it until just now--

“What do we do?”

“Start packing,” Victor says, “figure out what we can take from here.” 

“How much time do we have?” Benji asks, brows furrowed. 

“I dunno,” Victor says, “we’ll stay here a couple more days; set up safety measures. It may be easier to wait them out and--

“Wait them out?”

Victor nods, “Then however they get here, whatever they bring or carry on them, we can take with us.”

“Take with us?” Benji asks, “I feel like your mind’s going a thousand miles a minute and I can’t keep up.” 

Victor instructs Benji to slide the rifle under the bed. He puts the stakes he’s made in every drawer, under his pillow, and tapes one under both he and Benji’s settings. As the sun sets outside, they warm up left overs on the stove, Victor keeping close to Benji because he fears he’s asked too much too quickly and he wants to provide reassurance. 

As they eat, Victor apologizes, “I’m sorry if I was too harsh or too--

“That’s okay,” Benji says, “these are the things you’re teaching me, right? Having to act on the fly. And if we care about each other as much as we say we do, that means I have to trust you, too,” Benji says. 

Victor meets his gaze, full of fear and tenderness all at once. 

“I dunno what I’m doing so,” Victor says, “the caring and trusting stuff is what I’ve been learning from you--

“You’re a quick study,” Benji comments, offering a small smile. 

“Caring about you and wanting to protect you is easy--

“V,” Benji says as he swallows a bite, “we’re waiting to be attacked and you get all mushy--

Victor chuckles, “There you go trying to soften the blow of an intense day…”

“That’s what we do for each other, I guess,” Benji says winking at Victor, “that’s what we’ve always done…”

Victor’s heart grows in his chest. And he just wants to sweep Benji up in his arms and grow entangled with him. Knowing he has to keep an eye out for vampires who may have found him is the only reason he doesn’t. They are also the reason he doesn’t say what his heart is yelling at him to admit.  _ I’m in love with you, Benji, vampires or no, I’m in love with you.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Victor <3 <3 <3


	8. Getting ready to leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Leaving here isn’t going to be easy,” Benji tells Victor as they get settled into the bed, “it’s the place where we--  
> “I know,” Victor says, “if I’d had a camera, I’d have taken a picture--  
> “I’ve drawn plenty,” Benji says, picking up his sketchbook.  
> “Lemme see,” Victor says reaching over for it, “lemme see!”  
> “When we get to our next destination--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have made this chapter longer, if you want more details, pls lmk! 
> 
> TW - blood and chasing and discussion of getting rid of vampire bodies...

Victor, Benji has to admit, doesn’t know how to integrate mortals into his defensive life. He sped through the house, putting and securing everything in its place with minimal conversation or explanation. Benji’s packing in their room. First his things, then Victor’s, looking up every so often to find Victor’s figure darting across the house. He moves quickly under stress, Benji notes that much. He wants to ask questions; he wants to ask him how he feels about the accident of choosing the wrong kind of house and he wants to ask him how he feels about needing to move so quickly when they’ve only been...they’ve only been more than friends for a few weeks. 

Well, more than friends in a way that allows them to kiss each other every morning and get tangled in each other as they fall asleep. 

After dinner, he asked Victor--he insisted that Victor tell him everywhere he put stakes. He insisted that he explain how to attack with them. He’s surprised that Victor, in one of Benji’s hikes into town, had managed to get enough holy water to sprinkle on both the gun and the bullets. “Churches don’t have cameras,” Victor explains, “and I wanted to be sure, because you’re a good shot, that if it ever came down to it--

“And do they turn into ash--I’ve never seen a staked or shot vampire--

“No,” Victor says, “they burn in the sun. Not necessarily by stake, though the wood kills them. The wood that used to burn vampires is the same wood that...long story about the origins of vampires that I will tell you when we land at our next destination.”

“Do you have any idea of where that would be?”

“Northeast,” Victor says, “closer to the state line. Still in Georgia,” Victor explains running his hand over his face, “then we’ll need to ask for help unless…

“Unless what?”

“We loot a great deal,” Victor says. 

“Does it bother you?” Benji asks as they tidy up the kitchen. 

“What?”

“Not being able to reach your family,” he says, touching his hand, “you seemed really close.”

“Sometimes,” Victor says offering him a smile, “you?”

“Sometimes,” he echoes, squeezing his boy’s hand. 

They make sure to leave the kitchen clean, as though it had barely been touched, before getting ready for bed. After their brush their teeth, wash their face, they also make work to remove all evidence of human use. It’s a long night, one riddled with Benji reminiscing over the memories they built brushing their teeth next to each other, Victor refusing to enter the bathroom when Benji was using it. Victor locking its door when he was. His modesty was endearing, a reminder to Benji of Victor’s attention to detail and his care. 

Victor still turns around when they change in front of each other, even though Benji spent a few days dressing his wounds. Even though their hands explore each other’s torsos and back until they fall asleep. He loves how modest and shy Victor continues to be, despite how close they’ve gotten. 

“Leaving here isn’t going to be easy,” Benji tells Victor as they get settled into the bed, “it’s the place where we--

“I know,” Victor says, “if I’d had a camera, I’d have taken a picture--

“I’ve drawn plenty,” Benji says, picking up his sketchbook. 

“Lemme see,” Victor says reaching over for it, “lemme see!” 

“When we get to our next destination--

“C’mon,” Victor says, reaching over him, “please.”

The sound of a twig snapping silences the both of them. Speedy feet, vampire fast feet, scatter away from the window. 

“Victor,” Benji warns.

“I’ll scope it out--

“Be careful--

“The gun’s under the bed,” Victor says rolling off the bed, a stake in either hand. “Stay inside.”

“Victor--

“Please,” Victor insists, “for me.”

He reaches over for the gun, covering Victor’s six as Victor heads to the front door. Once Victor’s outside, Benji locks the door behind him, waiting for a sound’s betrayal to tell him where to shoot. 

Victor bathed the new round of bullets with holy water  _ just in case.  _ Benji had memorized which boards in the house creaked days earlier, one of the late-night practices Victor insisted on because their hands and their kisses were getting too  _ time-consuming  _ for safety. 

Most of the sounds Benji could pick up were taking place outside. Body thuds, more broken branches, a few hisses. He  _ hates  _ not knowing Victor’s conditions. Glass breaking brings him back to a dangerous situation. He darts his head towards the sound, took a shot. The figure dropped to the ground. He waits a beat before moving towards it. The sounds outside diminish, “Benji,” he hears Victor say, “Benji?”

“Leaving the hallway to the bathroom,” Benji answers, “a body dropped somewhere behind the dining--

“He’s dead,” Victor answers, “are you okay?”

“I’m clean,” Benji says, taking a deep breath at seeing Victor stained with what must be blood, “you?”

“Attackers dead, pockets cleaned out,” Victor says, “found car keys, a decent amount of cash and a couple of phones, so--

“Nice,” Benji says, “is any of that blood yours?”

“Nah,” Victor says, “we’ll need to clean them up and then we can go--

Benji takes a deep breath, “can we sleep after we clean?”

“Of course,” Victor says, “sorry, adrenaline still running through me--

“Gotcha,” Benji says, “how do we dispose of the bodies--

“Burn ‘em,” Victor says, “I’ll need help carrying this one outside.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🙈 what do you think? Where should they go next? What questions do you have?  
> Your comments keep me writing ✍🏽...your silence 🥺  
> Please help me 😀 w your comments


	9. Following the bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives insight as to what was going on in the Salazar household following the bite exchange between venji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @aerys's questions, I realized I needed to give you insight into the days after the end of "Let me Kiss you"

As they’re cleaning up, Victor recollects how they got here. After their performance at Brasstown, Victor mingled with his high school friends for a reasonable enough time and then went home. Out of the urgency of the moment, he darted home out of a need to get updated. 

On entering the house, Pilar and his dad were at the dining table whittling stakes when he returned. “Were you able to wipe his memory?” Pilar asks without looking up. 

“There wasn’t the right moment,” Victor explains, “He was telling his friends that Derek ran off with a blood supplier--

“You know he’s fed on humans to death,” Pilar says raising her gaze, “he’s part of a pretty powerful colony--

“A family of vampires,” Armando interjects, “where after a certain age, they get to decide if/when they get to turn--

“Woah,” Victor says sitting at the table, “I didn’t know--

“His death won’t go unnoticed--

“Death?”

“Yeah,” Armando says looking up, “he didn’t want be cured and his crimes were too severe to--

“We’ll definitely be getting attention,” Pilar says, “and the mortal you work with will need to be made to forget--

“Got it,” Victor says, “I couldn’t get him alone without looking suspicious--

“He bit you?” Armando asks getting up from his chair, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” Victor says with a shrug, “it’s not like it hasn’t happened before--and I bit him back--

“I figured,” Pilar says as she starts sweeping the wood shavings off the table, “I mean, you didn’t hand him over to us so I figured he was either--

“I didn’t want to draw too much attention to the situation--we said that Derek ran off with the boy and ditched his band. Benji volunteered me to play being his new coworker and all and--\

“Good cover,” Armando says patting him on the arm, “Still, make sure you clean that bite, you’re still bleeding a little--

“Claro, Pa,” Victor says getting up, “and thanks for the update.”

“Goodnight, mijo,” Armando says, kissing him on the forehead, “Great job, Pilar!” 

“Right behind you, Dad,” Pilar says getting up. Before she goes down the hall, she asks Victor, “do you need my help cleaning up or--

“I’ll go to the bathroom right now,” Victor says, “clean it up real quick.”

“Let me know if you need more supplies to help Benji forget,” Pilar says as she walks into her room. 

“Will do,” Victor says before closing the bathroom door behind him. He pulls the first aid kit out of the linen closet. It’s behind the clean towels. The first aid kit takes up most of the shelf behind the towels. He uses that one, not the one in his room, because of the anti-septic specific for vampire bites. He pulls it out, along with some bandages--a few days of high collared shirts, for sure--before standing in front of the bathroom mirror. The puncture wounds are deep, some bruising because of the sucking. He touches his hand to it, allowing himself to get lost in the memory of Benji putting his lips on him. 

He’s been bitten before. Deeper even. The way Benji’s lips lingered, his teeth teased his flesh...the way Benji grabbed him. Victor has never wanted to surrender to a vampire’s hunger like he wanted to with Benji. He cleans off the bite with a washcloth and water first, then he applies the anti-septic. He doesn’t want Benji to forget. He knows he won’t. 

***

It’s the first time he’s willingly and unapologetically lies to his parents. When they follow up with him about it, he says he’s given Benji the necessary dosage to forget that night at work. At the same time, he works hard to minimize his interactions with Benji at school and at work. He knows the secrecy will be difficult to keep, especially with his dad’s boss having concerns with what Derek’s death will mean about the secrecy of their world and what Benji being cured. It’s one thing to cure someone who’s been a vampire very briefly or a vampire from outside his community. He’s never cured a vampire so close to home. 

When he arrives home after a game with Pilar and Adrian out for ice cream, he knows that the toll of his decisions have come to a head. His mom and dad are at the table, with faces that look as bad as they looked when they broke the news about needing to leave Graham. “What is it?” He asks before asking for la bendicion. 

“Leadership is concerned,” his mom says, “Derek’s colony is getting curious about the confused mortal having been cured of his vampirism.” 

“The mortal forgetting wasn’t enough,” his dad says, “it’s not like Graham; they’re calling my parents to come out of retirement and help--

“It’s that bad?”

“Well,” his mom says laying a hand on his dad’s, “Miss Albright, has been talking with others about needed changes and encouraging more opportunities for those who want to turn back, but there’s concerns about what that would do to you and to others…”

“To me?”

“None of us want you to stop hunting,” Armando says resting his hand on Victor’s, “we also don’t want to put in the face of danger because there are vampires very adamant about  _ not  _ giving up their immortality or their bloodlust....”

“We agreed to let you finish the school year,” his mom says, “before we decide anything--

“Finish the school year?” Victor asks looking between both his parents, “I didn’t ask for this--any of this--

“I know,” Armando says squeezing his hand in an effort to keep him at the table, “we didn’t want this for you--

“Mas complicado que Graham,” his mom says, “you’re not the only one like you and no one wants to dedicate your life to an agenda that--

“Not the only one--

“Many of us are invested in helping vampires leave the life if they choose,” Armando says, “you know that--but there are hunters  _ and  _ vampires who don’t want the change. It’s not just a matter of leniency.”

“It’s a matter of choice,” his mom says, “and we don’t want you to be another pawn in this game--

“Game?”

“Isabel,” his dad says, “we need to pace ourselves--

“If we train them to kill,” Isabel says, “there are records of efforts to minimize vampirism through other means, through what people like you can do and--

“And no one’s sure that’s what’s best,” his dad says, “and we’re as angry as you must be right now.”

“What does all this have to do with me? I was protecting myself, I was--

“We know, mijo,” Isabel says reaching her hand across the table, “we only want what’s best for you--

“This means I have to go on the run, don’t I?”

His parents looked at each other and then the table, offering him the answer he most feared. He gets up from the table, storms to his room, slams the door and locks it. They’ve prepared him for a life he doesn’t want to live and sure, he was struggling to tell them. But not wanting to be a vampire hunter is very different from a life on the run. And he’d have a few months to gather the supplies he needed to live on his own. 

This is not the freedom he wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you feel about this chapter? Are there continuity concerns you have? Kudos and comments are welcome...and yes, I am working on Benji's POV


	10. Take me with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji's arc from after the bite to before leaving Victor .  
> There was a lot at stake for Benji after he became mortal, how does he respond to it? How does he confront Victor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - chasing, mention of death, being cornered in an alley

In the weeks after being cured, Benji goes up to Victor’s locker as class ends. Victor’s shoulders are hunched as he loads his books, the nervousness and awkward coming off in the air around him. Since being propelled into the limelight by winning the battle of the bands at Brasstown, he’s gotten more uncertain of himself. Or maybe having bitten Benji and somehow curing him of his vampirism set him on the edge. Even though they work together three times a week and often run into each other in the halls, Victor changes the conversation or walks away every time Benji tries to mention it. Literally, Victor will go to the bathroom or tend to a recently emptied table just to avoid hearing about it. 

Benji needs to know what happened. 

Being cured of his vampirism because being cured and acting like business as usual at Brasstown is a little creepy. You don’t exchange bites, change someone’s life and not bring up what that means. 

“Hey,” Benji says, nibbling on his lip, “I really need to talk about that night--

“What night?” Victor asks as he closes his locker. 

“Did I do--

“You didn’t,” Victor says walking away, “I did.”

Victor’s steps are quick. Benji’s practically running down the hall to catch up to him. By the time he thinks he’s close, Victor’s getting in a car with his sister, following the series of carpoolers leaving the school parking lot.

At work, during a lull, Benji uses his position as assistant manager to pull Victor in the back. He just finished getting back from his break and the other barista is sweeping the floor. “Why won’t you tell me what--

“I was supposed to make you forget,” Victor hisses, “if my parents find out I didn’t they’d--

“People are asking me questions about Derek and--

“I dunno what happened,” Victor hisses, “okay? I dunno what you expect me to tell you, so please, just drop it.”

“Victor,” Benji insists, “please.”

“What?” 

“What’s going on?”

Victor’s eyes search him. He looks nervous. 

“I’m scared and I don’t wanna be a vampire again,” Benji says, “and I can’t keep lying forever--

“Not here, okay?”

“Then where?”

“School parking lot,” Victor says, “Sunday--there’s someone coming in the door--

The sound of the door jingle pulls Victor out, a fake smile plastered on his face, his best customer service voice greeting the new patron. 

He and Victor skirt around each other, act more distant than they ever have and he lets Millie, the other barista, close with him when Victor says he has to go home early. She’s sweet and kind. The conversation is light-hearted and, from what he can tell, she knows little about the vampire world. 

Her mom picks her up and he gets ready, mace in one hand, holy water in the other, to make his way home alone. On locking Brasstown’s door behind him, he scans his perimeter, still getting reacquainted with normal vision, and then heads down the street. “Benjiiii,” the familiar voice of Derek’s vampire best friend, Kyle, shakes him as he asks, “wanna go to the blood bank with me?”

Kyle is classically vampire pale, dresses like a millennial hipster, which affords him the opportunity to blend in with college locals. He doesn’t mind feeding outside of vampire dens, actually prefers it, the chase excites him as much as it repulsed Benji. 

“Yeah,” Phoebe says, “miss seeing you around there, how are you holding up--

“I’m--I’m fine,” he says, “going vegetarian--

“That’s not enough to keep you looking as flush as you are,”Kyle insists. 

Before he duck out of the movement, Phoebe says, “you’re feeling a little warm, there, B, what’s going on?”

“I--I dunno,” Benji says, “maybe it’s the blood I drink I--

“I hear your heartbeat there, kiddo,” Kyle says, “since when do you have a heartbeat?”

“He has a heartbeat,” Phoebe says, “I’ve never seen  _ that  _ happen--

“Me either,” Kyle says, “not willingly anyway. What kind of magic is this?!” 

“I...I dunno,” Benji says, trying to see if there are others around. “I dunno what’s going on, guys, c’mon--

“I think he’s holding out on us,” Kyle says, “Hey, Luke--

Luke, an older friend of Derek’s, comes out of the shadows of another doorway. His pale skin contrasts with his dark attire. He relishes in being a vampire. He lives out the stereotype in ways that he didn’t even want to think about--but he’s met these people at Derek’s house. Derek’s family promotes vampirism and leaves everyone a choice after 21. And, after 35, they won’t even consider it. What’s the point of being immortal with gray hair? It’s not something that’s done. 

“C’mon, Benji,” Luke says buzzing towards him, “tell us your secret...you know all of ours…”

“No,” Benji says, trying to find a way to get out of this crowd. There was no way out, more vampires eyes glowed in the darkness behind him, “I don’t know any of your secrets, I swear, I swear, Luke.” 

“That’s not what Derek told me,” Kyle says.

“C’mon,” Phoebe says, “spill.” 

Benji wasn’t prepared for the crowd around him. He wasn’t expecting this many to attack him. Did they know? Did they know how scared he was? Of course they did, his heart was giving them away. He remembers listening to the sound of fear. They’re closing in on him. He doesn’t have enough holy water for all of them. At worst, they’ll make him a supplier, at best, they’ll kill him quickly. He doesn’t want to go out without a fight, though he doesn’t know where the fight will begin. “I have nothing to spill and nothing to offer you, just...just leave me alone!” 

He tries to break out of the group. It’s like they let him run for a count of ten before Luke closes in on him, he can hear him laugh in his ear. He makes it for a couple blocks, his bag smacking his hip raw. He reaches for the holy water in his pocket, not much more than a spray to delay him, but it’s something. It’s something until he hears a gasp, followed by a thud. 

He turns to see Pilar, the man who looks like her dad, a woman about his age, and a couple others, taking on the handful of Derek’s colony members, moving almost as fast as the vampires. He scans the group, debating whether to help or to run. “Run, Benji!” he hears and with that, he runs all the way back home. 

He doesn’t stop running until he gets to bed. He hears his mom call out, “Everything okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah,” he says, “just really had to use the bathroom.” He’s used to lying to her, something he wished he could have stopped now that he was mortal again. But the taunting vampires were too much. Becoming a mortal again doesn’t save him from the world he was so unwilling to join.  _ We definitely need to talk on Sunday, Victor....and thank your sister for saving my life,  _ he sends without thinking.  _ I just wish I knew why. :(  _

He sees the bubble appear on his phone. He doesn’t expect Victor to be up, let alone awake.  _ I’m sorry Benji, I’m so sorry for everything.  _

_ I’m grateful to be mortal again, Victor, you have nothing to be sorry for.  _ He wants to type more, so much more. But he can’t give too much away. He can’t ask all the questions to be ghosted and evaded again. 

_ I’ll tell you as much as I can on Sunday, I promise, Benji. I should’ve...I should’ve made you forget. We should have...I’ll tell you everything I can on Sunday--please delete these messages as soon as possible. G’night, Benji.  _

_ G’night,  _ Benji texts back. 

***

It’s raining when he spots Victor sitting on the stairs of the school. He’s wearing sweats that look damp from the distance, his cortezes are definitely soaked. At least he’s wearing a bright blue raincoat, Benji thinks, he won’t get completely soaked. “Hey,” Benji says, pulling his hood up with one hand as he holds the umbrella over Victor with the other. 

“Hey,” Victor says, getting up, making to wipe the rain from his pants, “I know you have a lot of questions. And I’ll answer as much as I can that won’t put you in harm’s way--

“Harm’s way,” Benji says, “what’s more dangerous than--

“Let’s walk and I’ll answer. I don’t trust buildings with cameras and I don’t trust people to not catch up to us--

Benji doesn’t ask questions as he follows Victor away from the building. 

“I can take the umbrella if you insist on holding it over the both of us,” Victor says wrapping his hand against its pole. 

Benji’s hand lets it go, the electricity between their hands touch too overwhelming. 

“Sorry,” Victor says, “I know you were trying to be nice, I just...I’ve never had to have this conversation with a mortal before--

“Mortal?”

“I come from long lines of vampire hunters,” Victor explains, “and I’m one of a few people who can cure others of vampirism, which is why I asked you to let me kiss you--

“How did you know?”

“Pale, cold skin,” Victor begins to explain as they lap the parking lot, “the pendant you used to wear. And sometimes I caught sight of your canines…”

“Oh,” Benji says, “and why didn’t you hunt me--

“Because you weren’t a threat,” Victor says, “we--I never saw you at dens, and I’ve caught sight of your blood bags at work, so…”

Benji stops in his tracks, “how did you know about the blood bags, I was sure I was doing a good job of hiding them…”

“I have my ways,” Victor says offering a half smile, “I needed to make sure you were as safe as I hoped--as I thought you were…”

Victor’s face tinged pink in the middle of his explanation,  _ why is he blushing,  _ Benji thinks to himself. 

“Thanks?” he says picking up the pace again. 

“We know some vampires turn to save their lives not to define their lives and when we caught Derek, I didn’t--I didn’t think harm should have come to you too--

“What happened to Derek?”

“What happens with most vampires with his track record…”

“Oh,” Benji says. “I need a minute.”

Benji leans against the gate. It’s not easy to hear that your first boyfriend met his maker for choosing to be the kind of vampire he chose to be. Derek had decided to turn younger than most in his family. He didn’t want to attempt to live the stereotypical life of everyone else in his family, and not just because he was gay. He wanted to be eighteen forever, something Benji had lamented when he turned. He wanted to grow up, age, he wanted to spend the rest of his life growing old with someone. 

But he didn’t expect. He didn’t will Derek to die for the life he lived either. He knew Derek had sucked people dry. He didn’t like it; he didn’t condone it. But he was raised by a family that sustained the lifestyle for centuries. What other choice did he have? 

“I’m sorry,” Victor says, gently kicking the toe of Benji’s boot, “I’m not good with mortals. I’ve been hunting vampires most of my teens, and I learned a few years ago that I could help vampires turn back into mortals…”

Benji looks up at Victor when Victor wipes a tear from his face. His heart’s beat quickens a little. Victor’s face is so close, his lashes are so long. He’d only need to inch closer if he really wanted to--but he couldn’t. He was devastated at the loss of Derek, who had respected his choice not to feed or hunt for live kills all the while pursuing that life. There were too many emotions going on for Benji to make sense of, being close to the boy who brought his heart back to life and who, undoubtedly was part of the reason it was breaking. 

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner?”

“Because,” Victor says pulling back but keeping the umbrella over Benji, “we have a code. Most recovered mortals take a serum to erase the memory, a centuries old recipe, really, but I couldn’t--I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Why?” Benji says looking down at the rain dancing across their shoes. He couldn’t bear to keep his eyes on Victor too long. He couldn’t trust himself to not do something stupid. 

“I just,” Victor begins to say. He takes a deep breath, “I just couldn’t. I was new here, I--I didn’t know what protocol was. You’re the first vampire I turned back who lived in the mortal bubble I was trying to find a place in and I...I didn’t know what making you forget would do to you. I should have, though, that’s what protocol is.”

“I’m grateful you didn’t,” Benji said, “being the only out kid at Creekwood is difficult as it is. Having a blackout night would have been...it wouldn’t have been good.”

“You’re not the only kid out at Creekwood, Benji,” Victor mumbles. “I’m gay, too…”

Benji looks up at Victor who has cast his eyes to the side, head lowered, cheeks holding a tinge of pink. 

“I didn’t know,” Benji says, “I couldn’t tell.”

Benji shouldn’t be excited about this revelation. He really shouldn’t be. 

“Well,” Victor says, “I’ll be leaving at the end of the school year, so you’ll be going back to being the only out kid--

“I can’t go back,” Benji says, “there’ll be others coming after me even if you’ve gotten, Luke, Kyle, and their friends--

“Others?” Victor asks, meeting his gaze. 

“If you’ve been vampire hunting as long as you say, then you’ll have heard of his family’s reputation and its reach. Those few who decided not to be vampire hunters, are suppliers. They won’t be happy he’s gone…”

“Hmm,” Victor says, “my parents are reluctantly encouraging me to leave until they get my role straightened away--

“Your role?”

“There are vampire hunters who aren’t too keen on having someone who can cure vampirism in their midst. My mom and brother have been uncovering the history of--

“Woah,” Benji says, “they just like killing?”

“I dunno,” Victor says, “my families approached the family trade differently...but then my parents are the first trained here, integrating their parents’ approach to what is done in what is now called the United States…”

“Where would you go?”

“I dunno,” Victor says, “I’m building a supply base, figuring out if I’ll take a care or--

“Let me go with you,” Benji says without thinking, “I know my days here are numbered and I’m tired of lying to my parents--

“Benji,” Victor says pushing the umbrella in his hand, “you have no idea--

“Yes,” Benji says wrapping his hand around Victor’s, “yes, I do...I can’t face the world of vampires alone and...and you’re in this mess because of me. Take me with you…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the backstory had me thinking a lot about, well, my chapter length and what it takes to world build in this kind of story. Ergo, this being the longest chapter in the fic (thus far). 
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated. Arguably, looking back, I could expand on each chapter, but alas, I did not.   
> Thank you for reading, following and appreciating. Post questions, comments and the like.


	11. You sleep, I drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I guess I’m struggling with making my choice out of fear or out of self-defense. No matter how fast vampires are, how much they can do with their strength, I guess I’ll always wonder.”  
> “It’s what keeps you, you,” Victor says squeezing his hand, “taking life seriously, wanting mercy and repentance over vengeance...I guess. I hope the powers that be have mercy on their souls.”  
> “When you talk like that,” Benij says leaning on Victor’s shoulder as he pours the gas over the dead bodies, “I’m reminded why it was a good idea to put my life in your hands--  
> Victor chuckles, “and my life’s in yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am listening to a lot of audiobooks as I write, trying to figure out how to add emotional depth and introspection because sometimes I focus on plot and feelings without context...hopefully I added some context this time

Getting rid of the bodies isn’t easy. It requires burning them in an enclosed circle made of rock to build the fire, make sure to burn close enough to the house that it doesn’t affect public lands and far enough that the aroma doesn’t overwhelm the house. “Can you talk to me?” Benji asks as he brings the last stone to the circle. 

Victor looks up and squints, the sunrise taking hold of the sky behind Benji’s standing form. “Talk?”

“Last night was pretty intense,” Benji says, “and we’ve spent the whole night just making sense of the mess…”

“They left a car,” Victor says, beginning to report, “we have enough money to last a week and they don’t live in Atlanta...actually they live close to--

“That’s not what I wanna talk about, Victor,” Benji says with a heavy high. Swallowing hard and shaking his head, he walks over to Victor, gas canister in his hand, “I wanna talk about killing someone for the first time--

“Oh,” Victor says, “I didn’t know...I took for granted that...I’m not good at this. I’m not good at doing anything but protecting,” he reaches for Benji’s free hand and says, “we can stop; I dunno what to say, but I can listen…”

Victor remembers how willing Benji had been to trust him when they left together at the beginning of the summer. He didn’t ask questions then, probably because he was afraid for his life. He says as much when Benji’s downward sad face doesn’t make a sound, “I take for granted that killing vampires was a mercy for me growing up--I didn’t like it either when I realized I could, well, I could change their condition. I knew if they wanted, we could save them from the affliction...and meeting people who wanted to live forever, well, I’m at peace with self-defense--not with the punishment. Knowing I could help people change their mind about living forever, I wondered how much more we could change that didn’t require killing--

“Yeah,” Benji says, “I guess I’m struggling with making my choice out of fear or out of self-defense. No matter how fast vampires are, how much they can do with their strength, I guess I’ll always wonder.”

“It’s what keeps you, you,” Victor says squeezing his hand, “taking life seriously, wanting mercy and repentance over vengeance...I guess. I hope the powers that be have mercy on their souls.”

“When you talk like that,” Benij says leaning on Victor’s shoulder as he pours the gas over the dead bodies, “I’m reminded why it was a good idea to put my life in your hands--

Victor chuckles, “and my life’s in yours.”

They stand next to each other, watching the bodies burn. He’s not sure why Benji stays there as the flames quickly lick around the lifeless bodies. The smell is a mixture of the dried firewood they would never use and dried meat. The smell of flesh doesn’t last long, the death in their bodies minimizing the meaning of flesh and bone. As the shell of bodies disappears, Benji buries his face in Victor’s shoulder. His tears begin to soak through Victor’s shirt. He smooths his hand across Benji’s back. 

Despite his performative strength, he resists getting used to ending the lives of people who are expected, too soon, to ask for mercy for the mistakes they’ve made. “I never get used to this,” Victor thinks out loud, “I hope to remain as uncomfortable with unforgiven sins as you are…”

Benji wraps his arms around him, and squeezes him. Victor responds in kind. They stand wrapped in each other until there is nothing but ash and dancing smoke coming from the enclosed circle of where the former threats to their lives lay. 

As he sweeps scattered ash from the porch, he asks Benji, “you hungry?”

He shakes his head as he waits for Victor to clear the path for him. Victor watches Benji look to the bonfire they created, shake their head, as he walks their bags to the distant log Victor recommended he take them to. It’s one of the few corners the ash didn’t fly. As he walks back to the house, he tells Victor, “I’ll need your help making sure the house is clean. I wanna make sure I got everything--

“I’ll be right in, B,” Victor says offering his partner in crime a small smile. 

Benji does his best to return it, although Victor’s pretty sure the number of people they’ve killed--three--still weighs heavy on him. Victor still remembers his first. He was frightened, the vampire was still pretty young. He somehow managed to stake him in the heart before the person, Stevie, had the ability to make good on his promise and rip his arms off. He had nightmares for about a week, calmed by conversations with his grandmother and hours at the Hunter’s Church. 

Given the threat they represent, he realized that he and Benji would need to find a way to pray and grieve without the comfort of the historic legacies of others who’ve had to make equally difficult choices. This is not the way he wanted to grow close to someone. He wanted to share life and play with Benji, not all this death and fear. Had he gotten lost in the brief joy of having been cared for by someone so sweet? Had they stolen some happiness and play and comfort with each other in the wake of the work ahead? Victor walks into the house, double checking Benji’s impeccable work, wondering if or how they’d find their way to each other after so much. 

Benji’s somehow left the house and the rooms cleaner than when they arrived. “It looks perfect,” Victor says on rising up from under the dining table, “you’re...you’re perfect.”

Benji blushes, “I know it’s cleaner than when we got here, but I figured that’s the best way to leave no traces of us…”

“Yeah,” Victor says biting his bottom lip, “good thinking.” 

“Will we have to move the rocks back or--

“I’m not too worried about the rocks,” Victor says, “they’re still too hot and we should get on the road soon.”

“I dunno if I have the energy to drive--

“You sleep,” Victor says as he takes Benji’s hand, “I’ll drive.” 

The car was a four door cadillac, they packed all of their dried food, leaving their meat scattered for carnivores in the wood to eat later. Victor set their backs in the trunk as Benji scanned the back and front seat for supplies or for clues about why these three had attacked them. They packed their clothes, the blankets that were in the house, and whatever spoils they gathered from the people they killed. Three cismen who, despite their pale skin, looked older than they were. They were all blondes with short hair and hungry eyes. Victor’s hands still hurt from the punches he delivered. As he rounds the car to the driver’s side, he asks, “what did you find?”

“Derek’s mom’s name,” Benji says lifting up a note after opening the passenger’s side door, “so I guess that explains why they came after us--more cash, and...maybe she was related to the people who owned the house--

“Maybe,” Victor says with a shrug, “thankfully they must have gotten gas before they arrived here--

“I wonder where they were headed to next,” Benji says as he gets in the car. “They wanted to avenge Derek, that much is true…”

Victor follows, puts the key in the ignition and says, “Hmm,” Victor says, “I wonder if we should go to their house or where I thought we should--

“Let’s not go to their house just yet,” Benji says, “I dunno that I could..

Victor looks to see Benji’s eyes widen. He waits for Benji to say something more and when he goes to picking his cuticles, the classic sign of his nervousness he’s come to realize, he asks, “how are you feeling?”

“Sad,” Benji says, “scared and confused.” Benji lifts his head and releases the breath he’d been holding, “Just twenty-four hours ago I was coming to terms with saying good-bye to finally getting you to...and now we have the weight of the lives we’ve taken between us.”

“I’m sorry,” Victor says, thinking to himself,  _ I’m probably going to be apologizing a lot,  _ instead of saying that out loud, however, he decides to pick up on Benji’s second to last sentence, “Getting me to?”

“Getting you to open up to me,” Benji says, “Before everything that happened,” he continues to explain as they drive towards the paved road, “I knew I wanted you--

“Hmm,” Victor says smiling at recollecting how long he wanted Benji, “me, too.”

“Do you mind if I close my eyes,” Benji asks, bending his head back to rest, “I don’t think I’ll sleep, but I’ve run out of words.”

“Sure thing, B,” Victor says, “whatever you need.”

By the time the woods have changed, Victor hears the deep rumble of Benji’s sleeping breathing. The sun’s high in the sky by the time he reaches the freeway to their next destination. He turns to see that Benji’s balled himself up, turning to face Victor. It’s how they spent their first weeks together, acting as though they were together out of necessity, usually waking up facing each other, hopeful, he now realizes, that they’d eventually cross the chasm between them. 

With the blood they’ve spilt together, he hopes that they’ll find a way to cross the new chasm that’s emerged between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t believe I’m done w these 2; I have feels bc Schwab’s new Netflix show has a similar start although more enemies to lovers...
> 
> If you’d like to know what happens next, please leave comments. My og fic characters are calling, so not sure when I’ll come back here.   
> As always, I’m grateful you’re reading 🤗😃🤩


	12. Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re almost there,” Victor says, interrupting his thoughts.   
> Benji wipes his eyes and says, “a real bed will be nice…”  
> “I don’t tend to sleep after…” Victor begins to say, “but I’ll make a point to be quiet so you can.”
> 
> The toll of the past couple days sets in for Benji; they arrive at their new 'home'

Benji can’t help but remain quiet as he rides along with Victor. Every time he catches himself falling asleep, all he can see is blood on his hands, its redness overpowering the pain of splitters. And that, he hasn’t staked a vampire yet. He startles himself awake a couple of times throughout the ride through suburban than rural Georgia and, by the fourth nightmare, where he finds himself in a duel with Victor, he decides to not go back to sleep. 

He sneaks a sideways glance at Victor, the sun lowering in the sky behind him. His face is tear-streaked, the bags under her eyes are pronounced. On taking in the sight of his hands on the steering wheel, he sees the remaining bruises on them. While part of him wants to ask about it, Victor’s eyes seem focused ahead of him, worried and afraid. 

Benji adjusts himself from the painful posture and focuses on the yellowing sky behind the foliage with flickers of red, and yellow hinting at the beginning of the fall. Their summer of falling is over and the autumn of the unknown unravels around them. The toll of being away from home and from the world he thought he understood has caught up with him and he can’t help but let the tears fall. He misses the innocence of his mortal life. He misses the quiet isolation of his temporary vampire life when his life wasn’t what he wanted it to be but, at least, he wasn’t afraid of his life for a minute. 

“We’re almost there,” Victor says, interrupting his thoughts. 

Benji wipes his eyes and says, “a real bed will be nice…”

“I don’t tend to sleep after…” Victor begins to say, “but I’ll make a point to be quiet so you can.”

Benji’s tempted to tell him he won’t be sleeping, but he can’t. Too much has happened in too short of a time to warrant returning to their easy vulnerability. His fears have caught up to him as has the realization of how young they are. 

When Victor exits the freeway, not too far from the state line, the sun’s absence has begun to darken the sky and the woods have grown thicker, These woods are older than the ones they left behind, which tends to happen along the state lines where development isn’t easy. These are hunting grounds as well, for deer, among other animals. The memories of using a gun, of seeing the way his grandfather would collect the game and prepare it have changed in meaning for him, especially now that he has killed someone. Telling himself they were undead doesn’t help, not really. Nor does it help that he was defending himself. What does it mean to have had this world of monsters and their hunters around him all this time? How do these people grow up in this life like it’s okay? 

They arrive at a plantation-style house. Two stories, wrap-around porches. Lights are on so he can’t help but ask, “Should we be worried?”

“No,” Victor says, “it’s an off the record property for vampire hunters...reclaimed by vampire hunters who killed their master a couple hundred--

“Oh,” Benji says, not wanting to hear more about violence, even the righteous violence of formerly enslaved Black uprising. “So will there be food? I’ve finally gotten hungry…”

“Fully stocked,” Victor says, “Pilar told me as much when I called--

“When did you call?”

“The first time you fell asleep,” Victor says turning off the ignition, “I threw out the phone right after.”

“Oh,” Benji says opening the door, “what was it like talking to your sister?”

“Not much talking,” Victor says as they both exit the car, “I told her I was coming here. She told me it was stocked. We couldn’t risk talking more in case her phone was tapped or--

“Got it,” Benji says as he opened the passenger door, “I’ll just take my things in.”

“Sounds good,” Victor says offering a small smile. 

Benji turns towards the house, unwilling to offer a smile in return. The house looks a little worn with time on the outside, a few vines growing around the pillars framing the porch, foliage scattered on the porch, and a faded welcome mat outside the front door. He sets the two bags he’s brought out of the car on either side of him to open the screen door and then the front door. 

He twists the doorknob of the interior door and it swings wider than he meant to. On picking up his bags and walking in, he feels like he’s walking into the past, the interior of the house glowing warm and shining clean, original wood pillars must be mahogany. Right out of a period film, he thinks to himself, save for the updated appliances in the kitchen and the modern furniture in the parlor. The dining room table must be newish, not an antique for its lack of wear. It’s a lot different from where they’d spent the summer. 

He sets his bag at the foot of the stairs and walks deeper into the house, amazed at the number of sitting rooms--two--the size of the kitchen. It can feed an army, he thinks to himself. There’s a back room that, on turning on the light, he realizes is an art studio, a place to draw and study. Something he hopes he has the time to take advantage of, sustain at least that part of his life in all that’s unknown. 

On hearing creaks and the door close, he walks back up to the front to find Victor leaning against the banister at the foot of the staircase. He keeps his distance and searches the floor for his bags. “Where are my bags?” Benji asks. 

“I brought them up the stairs,” Victor says shrugging, “I got into organization mode; food’s put away, your bags are upstairs--I didn’t put them in a room so you could pick one and--

“Thanks,” Benji says, offering him a small smile. 

“Sorry for not asking,” Victor says, sticking his hands in his pockets, “I’m going to scan the perimeter again; I’m not really hungry, so…”

“I’ll go make something for myself then,” Benji says, “and if there’s anything I need to know or--

“I’ll let you know,” Victor says, nodding his head towards him as a good-bye. 

Benji watches Victor walk outside, and turns away from the door once it’s closed. As much as he knows that Victor is probably running through a lot of emotions--he’s not blind--he’s not in the space to deal with them. Victor was trained for this; Victor was born  _ not  _ wanting to do the hunting and the running that Benji just happened to fall into. He was trained to kill the undead and then learned he could offer them an alternative. An alternative that gave Benji half his life back--but only half of it. 

He makes himself a sandwich because he doesn’t have the energy to find something to cook and eat. He eats the sandwich, taking in the warm soft lights of the kitchen, the comfort of the kitchen nook, and the relief of being in a house that feels like it could be a home, even though he doesn’t know for how long. 


	13. What Victor doesn't tell Benji

The woods are clear, of course, Victor knows that much. Only vampire hunters can access the house. He entered a code Pilar provided him when he called. His eyes adjust to the darkness in part because of the lamps that turn on as he walks past them. It’s a beautiful house, one Bram’s family had kept to themselves until integration because, well, vampires liked to keep to the status quo “so as to not bring too much attention” to themselves and their cause. 

And even though Bram’s family had let it be use as headquarters, it remained undocumented for the sake of its prime location between states and to provide refuge. 

The taking of a life, even an undead life isn’t easy, Victor thinks as he happens on the firewood/stake shed. It makes sense that Benji wants space. It also makes that sense Benji doesn’t want to spend time with Victor just yet. He knows how to go through the motions though it never gets easy. He doesn’t know how to talk about it, let alone console someone through it. And while Benji responded well to what he said before they left the cabin, it doesn’t mean it’s enough. 

He wants to figure out a way to make it right. Though he doesn’t know what ‘it’ is. Benji’s reaction to the last couple days has Victor thinking about what it must be like for the vampires he turned back. They have knowledge of a world no one else from their mortal life can explain. He’s never gotten to know any of them and headquarters told him, on curing the first vampire, to not worry about it. He worried about Benji; he worries about Benji because he has feelings. Feelings that Benji also has. Feelings they used to do stuff about until, you know, they killed people. 

When he returns to the house, he goes into the kitchen for some water. IT’s fully stocked with water bottles, dairy and non-dairy milks, leafy greens, sandwich meats and...well, a variety of food choices for any dietary preference. As he closes the fridge, his eyes catch a couple crumbs on the ground and then on the island counter, the only evidence that Benji had made himself a sandwich for dinner. 

Victor goes to the pantry and grabs a kind granola bar, amid the containers of rice, noodles, cereals, buts, flour, cornmeal along with sauces, and packs of dried soup. Nothing premade, unfortunately. Then again, he scans the kitchen again and there’s no microwave, so that would make sense. 

He walks up the stairs, finds that, as suspected, Benji took the room that didn’t have Victor’s things. Victor chose a room next to the opening to the terrace. He crawls into the queen bed, under the plush comforter. He lays his head on the pillow and stares up at the ornate ceiling, not sure if he made the right decision in letting Benji come with him. Wouldn’t it have been easier to have the clans relocate him?

He really wishes he could talk to someone, anyone, about everything he’s going through. He wishes he could have had more time with Pilar, that he could talk to his parents. Even Felix would be a welcome relief, someone to say it’s okay to be overwhelmed, to be scared, to grow exhausted of a life you were trained for. Tears and sobs break through the surface of his skin in spite of himself. He buries his face in his pillow, hoping Benji doesn’t hear. 

“Shit,” Victor says when a pounding headache wakes him up. Sitting up, he knows he’ll need to get ibuprofen and water. Definitely a lot of water given how much he’s cried. He walks into the bathroom en-suite of his room, finds ibuprofen and uses tap water to help it go down. As much of a release as the cry had been, his pounding head reminds him he’s got someone to check on. In the shower, he lets the water run over him, he examines his knuckles, lets the water pour down on the bruises on his back and shoulder until the water runs cold. He finds new clothes in the closet. A hung up white t-shirt and a set of sweats from the bureau. He’s grateful that headquarters are fully stocked. 

He puts on slipper socks and walks out to look into getting food. He hears sounds downstairs, and finds Benji kneading dough in the kitchen. He looks focused, determined yet relaxed. “Good morning,” Victor says walking into the kitchen.

The room looks lived in, the mixing bowl and mixing tools are in the apron sink overlooking the side yard where the sun danced amid the trees slowly losing their green. The pantry door remained open as did the cabinet from where Benji must have grabbed the mixing bowl. The counter itself had sprinkles of flour and baking soda across it, not so much to be a mess but enough to let him know Benji’s a baker who likes to take up space. They didn’t have that space in the cabin, not the island nor the pantry nor the variety of dishes and appliances at their disposal. 

“Afternoon,” Benji says, looking up as he kneads the door. 

“Oh,” Victor says rubbing his neck, “I’m just gonna grab a granola bar and--

“This will be pizza dough once I’m done with it,” Benji offers, softening his brow. And wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, “you’re welcome to some when it’s done.”

“Thanks,” Victor says lifting his hand to wipe the dust of flour that caught on Benji’s fine brows. He, instead, runs his finger through his hair and says, “I may take you up on that.”

He exits the living room, two granola bars in hand, walking upstairs to sit on the upstairs terrace. The stairs are wide and deep under his feet; they feel aged. Looking down at them, he finds them worn in the middle. When he was little, back in Texas, he would make a point to walk in the less worn spots of stairs, hoping to even them out. Now, he knows it doesn’t matter. As wide as deep as anyone makes a staircase, people always walk in the middle. 

He knows they’ll need to loot soon, that this will be their home base. He’s tempted to go by himself, just so Benji can take time to come to terms with the past couple days, maybe he’ll find his way back home or back to a new life. It’s still pretty close to the beginning of the school year, it wouldn’t be that hard. 

Before the attack, the plan had been to come to the house, restock and then go back out. Now, though, seeing Benji at ease baking bread, he doesn’t want to drag Benji further into this. As much as he knows he can’t do this on his own, he doesn't want to bring Benji into this life any further. It’s not fair to him. Mortals are innocent bystanders, most of the time, in the chase between vampires and vampire hunters. He wants Benji to have a life like they had in the cabin and, as much as it hurts him, maybe Benji would be better off with someone else. With someone who doesn’t have such a cursed fate. 

On hearing a car on the road, he stands up and looks to see a Nissan pulling in. He runs downstairs, taking a brief detour to grab a stake from his room. No one knows they’re there; he doesn’t want any more harm to come to Benji, not after he’s had such a quiet day…

He hears murmurs on reaching the base. Walking into the kitchen, Benji’s got a knife in his hand--”I got this,” he tells Benji, “stay behind me--

“It’s not like I don’t need to defend myself either--

On hearing the screen door slam shut, they find two all thin figures walking in, “Victor?”

When the figure turns, he sees a face he’s only seen on Instagram, “Simon?”

“Hey,” Simon says, rushing into hug him. 

“You must be Benji,” the guy behind him says, “my name is Bram--

“Victor,” Benji says as Victor and Simon part, “who are these guys?”

“We’re vampire hunters,” Bram says tipping his hand and offering a smile. 

“Yeah,” Simon says offering his hand to Benji, “PIlar said you may need some help?” 

“I’m a hugger, too,” Bram says moving around Simon to give Victor a hug, “we are  _ so  _ glad you’re here…”

“Me, too,” Victor says, melting into Bram’s brotherly embrace, “me, too.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I ran away with Victor because I was scared for my life and I knew I couldn’t face it alone.”  
> “If you want another choice,” Simon explains as the screen door opens, “we can talk about that over the next few weeks.”  
> “Is there still pizza?” Bram asks on entering the kitchen. 
> 
> Or  
> \--Week 1 with   
> Spier-feld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for visiting. This chapter is catharsis and I am grateful you are reading.

Benji’s confused, to say the least. The boys brought their own food, something from a fast food joint. “Do you want some fries?” The tall beautiful Black one said, “I know subsistence eating can be hard--

“We also went to Creekwood,” Simon says offering him a smile, “Bram and I moved to New York for college and…

“Broke a lot of rules in the process,” Bram says shaking their brown paper bag full of the fries in front of Benji, “please, take some. We’re here to help.”

“Sure,” Benji says, reaching into the paper bag, “thanks.” 

The fries’ greasiness brings on a sense of nostalgia and, despite the ding of the pizzas, he reaches in for another handful. 

“I’ll take the pizza out,” he hears Victor say. 

“You made pizza?” Bram says, “thin-crust or--

“Pan,” Benji says as he watches Simon pull out a warm plate. Victor follows him and sets the pizza on the surface. “I stress bake,” he offers. 

“Me, too,” Simon says, “though usually just cookies or cakes--nothing like pizza.”

“I’ve taken full advantage of Simon’s stress fits,” Bram says, “though it means I have to train twice if not three times as hard--

Simon returns to his place next to him and hip bumps him. They smile at each other, two boys completely in love, Benji thinks to himself. He finds Victor staring at him from the other side of the island, but he darts his eyes away quickly, not wanting to invite closeness just yet. The past couple of days have still been a lot. 

“Hey,” Bram says, “we’re gonna be here a couple of weeks; is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Victor says, “ I have the East room--

“I’m at the end of the hall,” Benji interjects, “didn’t need that much space…”

“Oh,” Simon says darting his eyes between the two. He clears his throat and says, “I’ll go bring our stuff upstairs then.”

“At least they didn’t take our usual room,” Bram offers.

“We haven’t been here since graduating, B,” Simon says, “I mean and it was that one time--

“Hmm,” Bram says narrowing his eyes, “you’re forgetting last summer…

“Can you scan the perimeter of the house?" Simon asks as he leaves the kitchen.

Bram slings his arm around VIctor’s shoulders and says, “C’mon, I’ll tell you much more than you learned from your mom or your sister…”

Benji searches the draw to wrap up the pizza. Once he finds the plastic wrap and storage bags, he runs the pizza cutter he finds in his search across the pizza, making triangular slices. He covers the pizza as it cools, leaving the storage bags next to them. 

He makes to sweep the floor, finish washing the dishes he had started before the others arrived, wondering how these boys were going to treat him considering. He’s not sure how to feel about a gay vampire hunter couple visiting, especially since they knew Victor. What rules did they break? Why were they were here? If he was honest with himself, he doesn’t like the idea of people who know Victor stopping by and talking about stuff he’s still wrapping his head around. He’s not an idiot. He may not have grown up with it, but he’s not an idiot. 

From the sounds up and down the stairs, he assumes Simon’s put the boys' things away in whatever room of their choice. As much as he doesn’t like them being here, he hopes this one doesn’t try to make small talk. He’s not a fan of small talk with cute strangers who are friendly with the only person he’s spent time with for the past four months. 

“This is weird,” Simon says on returning to the kitchen, “I didn’t realize that you...how are you holding up with all of this?”

Benji shrugs. 

“The first self-defense...kill...isn't easy,” the brunette begins to say, sweeping his Beiber like bangs away from his face, “The Salazar’s are introverted, given their bicultural approach to training; they’re skilled fighters and don’t open up easily.”

Benji leans against the fridge, looking down at the floor, “You seem to know a lot about them.”

“Bram and I have been making frequent visits,” Simon begins to explain, “younger clan members are trying to promote change like same-sex couples and--

“Same-sex couples,” Benji asks, “that’s not allowed?”

“Well,” Simon says, brows softening, face reddening, “not in the SouthEast clans, and only in the past couple decades up north, mostly because of how we had to infiltrate the gay rights’ movement given the vampires' manipulation of our civil rights movement and--

“Oh,” Benji thinks out loud. 

“That’s one of the reasons Bram and I are rule-breakers,” Simon explains, “we weren’t supposed to be together, let alone promote the curing of vampirism and curbing the  _ extermination  _ of vampires without attempts at deprogramming and…”

“Deprogramming?”

Simon shrugs, “talking honestly about whether immortality is worth feeding off of other mortals, getting to the root of it and...and then there’s the whole partnering with mortals things, I mean, we saw what happened with Brooks’s clan and…”

Benji runs his fingers through his hair, “Victor doesn’t talk much about your--your world or your lifestyle,” he explains meeting Simon’s gaze. 

“I’m surprised he reached out to me once he got to Creekwood,” Simon says, “though I shouldn’t because Miss Albright needed all the help she could get and Victor wanted the same changes we wanted soo--

“Changes?” 

“The ones I told you about,” Simon explains, “you know…” his voice trails and his face reddens further. 

“You know...what?” Benji asks leaning forward. 

“Nothing,” Simon says straightening and shifting his gaze, “I guess I just want you to know you have options, and we can talk about them later. As soon as we figure out how to help Victor live rogue and--

“Rogue?”

“He’s turned more vampires than we thought,” Simon explains, “and we’ve been assigned to finding them and helping them relocate,” Simon pauses holding Benji’s gaze, “or re-integrate into their mortal lives. Because you dated Derek, part of the Morgan colony, and re-integrating you would be more difficult because they’re out for your blood and--

“That much I knew,” Benji says, interrupting him, “I ran away with Victor because I was scared for my life and I knew I couldn’t face it alone.”

“If you want another choice,” Simon explains as the screen door opens, “we can talk about that over the next few weeks.”

“Is there still pizza?” Bram asks on entering the kitchen. 

Benji nods, fishes for the server and grabs a plate, and says, “Yeah,” while pulling out a slice, and setting on a plate, “here you go.”

“Thanks, Benji,” Bram says grinning from ear to ear. After a bite, he says, “this is amazing.”

“Of course,” he responds offering a small smile. 

Over the first week that they’re there, the boys take turns with Benji, being the listening ear and patient teacher he didn’t want to ask Victor to be. The details Bram and Simon fill in for him about the significance of Victor’s choice to bring Benji with him weigh on him differently. They tell him that Victor loves his gift and hates killing vampires. Simon explains how Victor reached out on first arriving in Creekwood. He tells him that Victor was concerned about Benji’s vampirism because he believed that Benji didn’t want to be a vampire. All of this before everything with Derek happened. He also explains that Victor’s parents don’t know he’s gay, which confuses him because he’s pretty sure everyone Victor hung out with--save the basketball team--had a pretty good idea that Victor was. 

Despite little to do and a lot of planning going on among them, Victor only spends time with him when all four of them are in the room. When Simon and Bram go into the city to communicate with clan leaders, he notes that Victor leaves any room that Benji enters. Victor only eats granola bars for breakfast and lunch. “Hey,” Benji says by lunchtime, “are you avoiding me?”

He finds him reading in the front living room. Some old book whose title he can’t make out. 

Victor looks up, closes the book, and says, “Huh?”

“Ever since they’ve been here,” Benji says, “you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’m just giving you space,” Victor explains, “because I know Simon’s talked to you about the relocation program…”

“We’ve only talked about it a couple times,” Benji says, “nothing definitive.”

“I know,” Victor explains, setting the book on his lap, “I know that what has happened to you isn’t fair and you...you didn’t choose this life so you should have the opportunity to live a normal life and...and they can help us help you do that. You weren’t born to kill,” Victor says lowering his head, “you shouldn’t have to--

“Oh,” Benji says, his heart softening, “but what about you?”

“I want to be part,” Victor says standing up and holding the book to his side, “I want to be part of the resistance…”

“But you don’t like the killing either--

Victor shrugs, “I don’t intend on doing the killing, I...I will figure out a way to change my role. These guys are trying to help me, there are others--others like me who, who want to find a way to change how vampire hunters do things...a life of more than hunting,” he sighs and clears his throat, “I...I have to go get another book to decode what’s happening in this one--

Before Victor makes it to the hallway, walking past him, Benji musters up the courage to ask, “Why did I learn more about you and your world from Simon and Bram than from you?”

“What--what are you talking about?”

“You never told me you wanted things to change and,” Benji says crossing his arms, leaning against the doorway, “you never told me that being gay wasn’t something that was really allowed…”

“We were trying to figure out how to survive and I wanted to make sure you felt safe and secure before I…

“You were listening to me,” Benji says, “and caring for me but not letting me support you--that’s not fair!”

“What happened to you is not fair,” Victor shouts, “you didn’t ask to be threatened into becoming a vampire. You didn’t ask to be turned back, you didn’t ask for your life to be in danger--

“But I said yes,” Benji says, “I chose to be a vampire over dying. I let you...I let you bite me after I bit you and here you are, acting like...like that was nothing--

“Your hunger,” Victor says, “something you couldn’t control and I could--I knew how to fight back; I knew I could help you, even if you didn’t, I knew...I knew all that time you worked together that it wasn’t in you to hurt anyone...that you wouldn’t hurt me if you could control it--

“But I did,” Benji says, “I wanted to possess you, to make you mine, that’s why--that’s why I bit you.”

Victor’s face pales, “Possess me?” He shakes his head, “Why--what--that was, that was the vampirism talking.”

“Even if I wasn’t a vampire,” Benji says closing the gap between them, “I’d still have wanted you…I’d still have let you take me, bite me, kiss me...”

“But I don’t,” Victor says, pinned in the doorway, “I don’t want you to live through this, I don’t...you don’t want this life…”

“I don’t,” Benji says pressing closer, “but I want you...I’m scared and I’m hurt by everything else, but I still want you.”

“Benji,” Victor breathes, tears slipping from his eyes, “you deserve better...you deserve forgetting this, forgetting everything you’ve suffered and…”

“What’s better than what I want? Benji asks, wiping smoothing his hand against Victor’s face, “ because I want you.” 

“But you,” Victor says trembling under his touch, “you pulled away, you...you chose a separate room, you couldn’t even look at me, so I...I just thought...no, Benji, you deserve better…”

“I want you,” Benji says pulling Victor’s head down to him, “I want you.”

Benji presses Victor’s lips against his own. 

“I love you,” Victor says when they part for air. 

Benji wraps his arms around him, pulling him in tighter.

“No,” Victor says trying to pull his arms off, “I love you too much to--

“I love you, too,” Benji says pulling him in tighter, “I love you, too.”

“Benji,” Victor attempts to plea.

“You can touch me,” he whispers in Victor’s ears, “please, touch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooo, what do you think?  
> What do you want to happen next?   
> I take your insights and your questions seriously as I read. One of the joys of fan fic.   
> ;) ;)


	15. VIctor touches Benji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can have me as long as you want me,” Victor says into Benji’s hair.   
>  Benji lifts his head. His sleepy happy face is a dream and Victor can’t help but smile wider, “Come join me in the shower,” Benji says lifting a corner of his mouth.   
>  Victor’s face warm but he nods, following Benji into the en-suite. 
> 
> or
> 
> Victor obeys Benji's requests

In response to Benji’s plea, Victor takes him in his arms, and lifts him up, burying his face in his neck. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve Benji, but he’s gonna do whatever he asks. When kissing against the door gets too painful, Victor takes his hand and leads Benji upstairs to his room. “Is this okay?”

Benji nods, “I was stupid scared,” he admits, clinging to Victor’s arms, “I was stupid scared that we were a mistake, that we were just...but you always had feelings for me, didn’t you?

Victor nods, “From the first moment I saw you, I--

Benji kisses him before he can finish his thought and Victor can’t help but push him on the bed, the place their bodies betrayed their attempts at evading each other until they couldn’t anymore. Legs slotted between each other, their lips unable to break from each other for too long, they’re right back where they were before, in that brief second where they were the only two people in the world. 

“I’ve missed you,” Benji says as Victor’s lips find their way to his neck. 

Benji’s hands slip under Victor’s shirt. His hands feel like fire against him, Victor sits up, takes off his shirt, then Benji’s.

Lying back on top of his boyfriend, he can’t help but push his hips against Benji’s. It feels so good, what’s going on in his pants and the deeper his kisses, the more he pushes himself down against Benji’s growing member. Victor turns his head to the place he bit Benji what feels like a lifetime ago. He kisses it, licks it as he presses his body harder against Benji. Benji’s arms ignite his skin and he wants more. He wants to feel so much more. “You’re amazing,” Victor says lifting his head up to take in his boyfriend’s sweaty, relaxed, elated face, “I love you so much.”

Benji runs his fingers through his hair. Victor melts into the touch, leaning back down to wrap himself in Benji. 

They tussle in the bed, giggling and kissing. As the warmth and depth between them grows, Victor develops a new nervousness. Their bodies are reacting to each other more intensely than anything they’ve ever done. When Benji lands on top, he sits up and asks, “Can I take these off?” setting his hands on his pants. 

Victor gulps and nods, reaching for his own pants. 

Benji un-stradles him to let Victor slide them off, leaving his boxer briefs on, his eyes swallowing Benji’s bare thighs and small briefs. Benji’s eyes run over him, and Victor feels exposed, because the level of hunger in Benji’s eyes is intimidating. 

He sits up, sets himself against the bed’s headboard and admits, “I’m scared.”

Benji crawls over to him, sweeps his hand across his face and says, “Babe, what are you scared of?”

“Doing something wrong,” Victor says, “you look perfect and deserve nothing but the best and I...I’ve never…”

“Touch me,” Benji says rubbing Victor’s thigh, sending chills all through Victor, “touch me like you touch yourself, okay?”

“I,” Victor begins to say, “I’ll need you to sit...sit with your back against me, I..is that okay?”

Benji nods as Victor opens his legs to offer Benji a place to sit. With Benji nestled in the cocoon of his embrace, Victor wraps his arms around Benji, letting one hand reach into Benji’s briefs. “Wow,” he breathes, kissing the back of Benji’s neck, “you feel warm and wet and--

“All for you,” Benji says, reaching his hand back, bending Victor’s face to him, “all for you.”

Benji’s trust in him gives Victor the courage to pull Benji out and stroke the shaft with more room than grabbing him in his brief would allow. Benji adjusts himself, and his briefs lower, “Wait,” Benji says, getting up, “lemme get more comfortable.”

Benji slides his brief’s off completely, and his naked form crawls back into bed with a soft and easy smile. 

He slides back into his place nestled against Victor, and returns Victor’s hands to his member, “Lemme help you,” Benji says as he rests his head back on Victor.    
Benji guides the motion of Victor’s hands while rubbing against Victor and it’s all Victor can do to control his trembling. Victor bites down on Benji’s shoulder, to control his volume, while Benji is less shy. Benji holds himself against Victor’s thigh with his free hand as he grinds into him at the speed of Victor’s hands along his shaft. 

Victor doesn’t know what’s more perfect, the way Benji’s becoming undone in his embrace or the way Benji’s surrender against him ignites every inch of him. “Benji,” he whimpers when his own hardness feels like it’s too much to bear. 

“Almost,” Benji says, “almost there. Don’t stop, baby, please, I--

“I won’t, B,” Victor says, “love you--love you so much--you feel so good, I...I…”

His body explodes with relief and joy and grief and the tears can’t help but fall so he buries his face into Benji working hard to focus on helping him finish. When he does, Benji turns in Victor’s embrace, lays a hand on his face and says, “you’re perfect….”

“Sorry,” Victor says, unable to meet his gaze. “This was supposed to be about you--

“Hey,” Benji says, tilting his chin up, “I love how you react to me…”

Victor reluctantly meets Benji’s eyes and finds nothing but tenderness and kindness. He’s undone. 

“And,” Benji says turning his whole body around, “when you’re ready for more, we can do more…”

“More?” Victor asks as Benji lies down on top of him. 

Benji nods, “I love all of you Victor.”

Sliding their bodies under the blanket, Victor responds, “I love all of you, too. Benji, I would do anything--anything--”

“Kiss me,” Benji says, scanning his face, “kiss me please.” 

“Anything,” Victor says before taking Benji’s lips in his own. 

After winding down with roaming hands, and soft kisses, Benji falls asleep on top of Victor, wrapped like a welcome vice around Victor. He doesn’t know how Benji got to love him and give of himself so quickly after such an intense season. What could he have done to deserve a guy like Benji, the love of a guy so soft, and sweet, and tender? He lets his fingers run up and down Benji’s back, getting lost in the possibility of more days and lights like this ahead of them. 

The sound of a car and a screen door break him out of his daydream. Benji stirs on top of him but doesn’t open his eyes. Instead he just grips him tighter. He’s reminded of what the boys have told him, to let Benji choose what he wants; to make sure he’s as informed as he can be. And, when they weren’t talking to him, they were giving Benji insight. What did he do to deserve friends like Simon and Bram, coming here to do that which he still didn’t know how to do--give Benji a reason to stay? 

A song comes to mind and he can’t help but humming. Maybe the song’s by Ed Sheeran or Sam Smith, he can’t remember. “Victor,” Benji grumbles. 

“Sorry,” he says, moving his fingers to run through Benji’s golden brown hair. “I hum when I’m happy…”

“Hmm,” Benji says, snuggling in closer.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Victor asks. 

“I’m sticky,” Benji says turning to rest his other check on Victor’s chest “but I missed this too much…”

“You can have me as long as you want me,” Victor says into Benji’s hair. 

Benji lifts his head. His sleepy happy face is a dream and Victor can’t help but smile wider, “Come join me in the shower,” Benji says lifting a corner of his mouth. 

Victor’s face warm but he nods, following Benji into the en-suite. 

When they go downstairs, Bram’s reading a book at the kitchen table and Simon’s over the stove. “Hey sleepyheads,” Brm says without looking up from his book. 

“Hi,” Victor says, lacing his fingers through Benji’s. He swallows and then asks, “So, I guess we should talk about what lies ahead…”

“Pending Benji’s wishes,” Simon begins turning around, “we’ll either help set him up for relocation or--

“ “Help equip him with the tools he needs to work with you to complete the tasks ahead,” Bram says looking up from his book and shaking his head. “So, Benji,” Bram asks getting up, “have you given consideration to what we’ve discussed?”

“I think I,” Benji says, rubbing his nose against Victor’s shoulder, “I think I’ll stay...I want--I want to help Victor.”

“Then we’ll stay longer,” Simon says grinning from ear to ear, “it’s gonna get pretty intense…

Benji nods, loosening his hold on Victor but keeping his hand in his, “whatever I can do to help.” 

“I knew he was gonna stay,” Simon tells Bram. 

“Simon!” 

“What?!” Simon says crossing his arms, “Victor was in love with him from the first day--

Benji turns to Victor and smiles, “Sap.”

“Just for you,” Victor says, smoothing a hand against his boyfriend’s face. Then he turns to his fellow vampires and says, “what’d you cook because I’m starving.”

“I’d assume so,” Bram says, giving him a wink. “You two were  _ asleep  _ for a  _ long  _ time.”

“Bram!” Simon says, pulling out the steamed veggies from the oven.

“Our makeup...naps...were no different,” Bram says as Victor and Benji sit across from them, “it’ll be nice to have gay vampire hunter friends to talk about the rush of--

“Wow,” Victor whispers in Benji’s ear, “I had no idea they were--

“They were plotting?”

Victor nods. 

“Did you tell any of them you had feelings for me?” Benji asks. 

“Yes,” Bram says getting up to help Simon bring the food to the table, “was it the first or the second message?”

“I believe it was the second,” Simon says bringing place settings to the table. 

Victor buries his face in his hands. 

“You’re adorable,” Benji whispers in his ear, “absolutely adorable.” 


End file.
